How do you overcome feelings of insecurity and the constant worrying?

I have been struggling in my relationship in regards to feeling insecure and like I always have something to worry about. I have become more codependent than I ever have been and I do not know how to shake this feeling. My relationship has been rocky lately due to the insecurities and worries I have been feeling.
Asked by Karen

You Sit With It

Karen, you learn to sit with what is the most painful because it is a part of you and something that doesn't disappear because we want it to. When we learn to sit with pain and discomfort, we learn a lot about ourselves and what affects us. When we avoid pain and indulge in a remedy or way of thinking, that teaches us that there are alternative ways to help, and this is a cancerous belief because these thoughts, the way you think, they don't go away. So holding out for hope that they will dissolve causes you to experience defeat constantly. The reality of thoughts and emotions triggered by thoughts and then the belief that we can remedy this is that it is inevitable. 

Here's a way to dismantle troubling thoughts. Notice them. Look right at the next scary thought you have and ask it something. Treat your thought like you would facing a scary monster who has come to take your life. Stand up, look right at it and ask, "what do you want?" When you face the thoughts that tell you to look away and ask what they want, you are acknowledging their existence and no longer allowing them to pressure you by threatening you. Ask them what do you want. Treat the thoughts and, therefore, your mind that feeds you the thought, as a person. Treat the thought as a friend with bad advice because that is exactly what your most troubling thoughts intend. 

Your thoughts are what happened in life through some experience. Something created what could not have been created had you not had the material to create the thought. You can only create new thoughts and ideas with pieces of old ones, such as a purple frog (you may have never seen one but can imagine one). So, these thoughts are troubling and usually tell us stuff about ourselves that we think we need to remedy. We then waste our life trying to do exactly that, remedy our troubling thoughts and ruin our entire life doing it. 

No, notice you have thoughts. You are not your thoughts. Notice the thoughts come from somewhere and that they have a purpose. Get accustomed to the thoughts and ask them what they expect you to do. Do self-defeating thoughts tell you not to try, that you will fail? If so, then that is the mind telling you to stay safe and avoid pain. You have to accept these thoughts exist and that they are inevitable to have some peace with them. Once you notice a thought, you can choose to indulge it, or you can choose to not. Either way, once you notice something and practice noticing it, and realize that your mind is trying to convince you to act from that thought, you are back in control and can experience peace without all the hope of the thoughts going away. 

A therapist is someone who can walk through this with you, but it is your journey as to how you make sense of thoughts and what you do when they talk to you like they have. 

An example below: