How to deal with anxiety when it comes to relationships and gain self respect?

Hi Victoria, Thank you for putting you first and reaching out to explore this topic a little more. 

Hearing that you prioritize self love is wonderful. The good thing to know is that what you are experiencing is something that more people experience than what you think, and with that being said there are ways to manage and cope with it too. I do not want you to feel alone here.

It sounds to me that you put a lot of thought into what others think about you and making a good impression.  You worry sometimes that others are not as interested in you or may be losing feelings which can be worrisome and upsetting to you. I would want you to think about if you have evidence of either of those things being a fact... So often, we get caught up in negative thinking patterns and thought distortions. Our thoughts have a large influence over our emotions. Sometimes we begin to think negatively without ever realizing it is happening. It becomes automatic.

One of the thought distortions that we can feel trapped in is that of "jumping to conclusions". When we do this, we interpret something as being negative even if we do not have any evidence to back that thought. One area this can happen in sounds like something that you experience. It is called "mind reading". This is when you automatically assume someone is reacting negatively to you. Another negative thought pattern is called "fortune telling". This is when you are already anticipating that things are going to turn out negatively. You tend to already assume that is a fact and then therefore you start to feel negative because of the thought and the emotions it brings. There are a ton of cognitive distortions that you can review and work through to see if you fall trap to any of them. We all experience one or more of these at some point in our lives.

One of the positives of learning these is then you can recognize them and create a more positive rational thought to replace that with. When we start to challenge our irrational thoughts we put ourselves in a place to change them. If we change the way we think it will change the way you feel and in turn change how you act or respond. This will do wonders once you put some time and effort into it. Just know, what you are experiencing is something that others have experienced too and there is a way to make things better if and when you are ready to work on challenging those thoughts and processing through some of them with someone.

I wish you the best in this journey.