How to deal with extreme anxiety and panic attacks after a sudden breakup?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. Our relationship has always been healthy and very supportive - he's been an amazing partner, however, always showing signs of fear of commitment.
6 weeks ago he broke up with me, very suddenly.
We still live together and share the same bedroom; we both find it really hard to set boundaries.
Even after the break up, he's been very caring and concerned about me; giving me many mixed signals.
I find it really hard to let go and accept the fact that we just need time and space apart
I managed to build a support group and talk to my friends but I feel like because we live together I'm reliving the breakup over and over again.
I feel like my friends are now sick of giving me the same advice and had enough of my struggles; I'm not sure who else to speak to on how to deal with this.
My anxiety levels are extremely hard and I struggle to find a routine and move on with my life.
Asked by SD

Thank you very much for sharing your question. It's really hard when we lose a good relationship, I am so sorry about that. 


The situation that you describe is really difficult as, of course, it's very tough to move forward when we are still in the same environment. I absolutely understand that. Also, if you are even sharing a bedroom it makes it much harder, as it's more challenging, indeed, to set boundaries and not to get confused with our feelings and emotions and also the others ... I find it completely hard, to be honest.


It's very good, though, that you managed to have this great group of friends that is supporting you, it's a great help and I am very glad that you have it. It's very important to share our feelings and thoughts with others and also to see other points of views for our issues. I understand that you feel like they could be annoyed for listening to you and giving you the same advice, but I am sure that they don't feel that way and they will be there to support you as much as you need it. Furthermore, I always recommend to share this kind of concern to be able to see what they think about it. You will probably see how they are just worried about you and look forward to seeing you better.


I suppose that moving to another place is a possibility that you have been thinking about and I know that sometimes it's just not that easy. However, it's important to have that in mind, as recovering from a break up is much easier and less harmful this way.


About your anxiety and panic attacks, I honestly believe that some sessions of therapy could be helpful for you. Sometimes, just sharing is good enough for us, as we all need to be listened to, but also, some other times, it is interesting to identify which patterns of thought or behavior are not working well for us and, eventually, to introduce some useful changes to start feeling better. Working with emotions and some mindfulness and, maybe, a couple more of approaches could be really useful for this. Also, it's something related to that situation of boundaries that you were describing and the assertiveness required.


Finally, remember that hard experiences are part of life and facing them head-on is something that, even when they are hurting us like now, will make you grow as a person, as long as you keep being authentic and as good a person as I am sure you are. 


I hope you choose your best way to achieve your purposes and to feel better. I am sure you will do it.

(Master's, Degree, in, Third, Generation, Psychological, Therapies, Bsc, in, Psychology, Msc, in, Prevention, of, Addictions)