How to get more motivation and start something?

Thank you for your question. It sounds like at the moment you are struggling with going out into public spaces and are fearful of the way people might perceive you. It seems as well that you want to do exercise and even though you manage to get started for a couple of days then the motivation is gone.

I wonder if exploring what is making you feel anxious and depressed can be a good starting point.

• When did it start?
• What triggers it?
• What sensations do you feel in your body?
• How do you manage when you have those feeling and what helps?

This can then lead to exploring strategies to manage your mood and anxiety, looking at what is working for you and what isn't. There are also other various strategies that can support you, and as every person is unique, it could be interesting to try different strategies and see how useful they are for you. Some strategies that come to mind are breathing techniques or mindfulness exercises (these can be more introspective or more active - for example: Noticing where you can find the color green in the room you are in vs. cleaning mindfully). Strategies such as these can be helpful to take your mind off your worries and focus on the present moment, which can help reduce anxiety.

The point of doing such strategies is that if you are in a calmer and wiser frame of mind, it should be easier for you to go out and challenge those negative thoughts that you shared. With time and practice (and maybe support from a therapist) the aim can be to gradually challenge yourself and your worries to get more motivated at achieving the things you set for yourself. 

At the same time, being kind to yourself is key- those thoughts and feelings are there for a reason (even though they might not be nice, I hear that!) and seeking help and support, as you are doing now, is not easy, so taking your time and knowing that on this side is always support available to listen and support you in your journey.