How to stop over thinking bad thoughts or something bad is going to happen and to calm anxiety

Hi - Thank you so much for reaching out with your question.  Racing thoughts and overthinking things are a common occurrence with people, so just know that first of all, you are not alone!   Then secondly, know that with practice and time, you you can become more aware of what your automatic thoughts are and how they affect you, and you will be more able to utilize skills that can help to challenge negative thought patterns.

Here are some things which may help:

1.  Recognizing and acknowledging that you have some negative thought patterns (sounds like you already realize this!) and not beating yourself up for it or judging yourself for it.  This can be hard to do, especially if you see that the patterns are affecting your functioning or relationships.  But give yourself some grace and remind yourself that you already have taken a major step towards helping yourself by asking for help.

2.  Learning more about negative thought patterns.  You can do this by talking with your therapist about thinking errors (AKA cognitive distortions, thought traps, negative thinking styles).  You can also google these and there should be several that pop up.  Sometimes different sources will call them by different names (ex:  all-or nothing thinking is also called black-and-white thinking or all good/all bad thinking).  Review the negative thinking patterns and see which ones are your "go-to" thought patterns.  

3.  Once you have figured out what sorts of thoughts are tripping you up (all-or-nothing thinking, catastrophizing, mind-reading, fortune telling thinking, and discounting the positive are all very common types), then you can practice mindfulness skills to catch yourself, or bring to your awareness, when you are having negative thought patterns.  The earlier you can recognize that you are experiencing a thinking "trap," the earlier you can acknowledge it and address it.  

4.  You don't always have to know where the thought is stemming from, but if there are negative thought patterns for an extended period of time, they may become rooted in your core belief or value system - the system in which you make decisions, behave and interact with others and yourself.  This can be detrimental over time so it may be important to do some therapeutic work around the roots of negative thought patterns which may have developed over time.  EMDR, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) are all evidence-based methods which can be helpful to explore with a licensed clinician trained in these models.

5.  Then challenging your negative automatic thoughts can be helpful as well.  In this way, thoughts are sort of put "on-trial," as you weigh the evidence for and against your thought.  Is your thought based on the truth, or based solely on emotion or circumstance?  Is the thought you are thinking helpful or unhelpful?   Is it kind (to yourself and others)?  What are the outcomes of continuing to think in this way and is that something you want?  If it is an anxious thought, what is the worst thing that could happen/best thing that could happen if this thought continues?  Slow down your thoughts (sort of like using a remote controller to put your thoughts on slo-motion or pause) - slow down long enough to get a good handle on the answers to the above questions, and then make your choices based on the answers to the questions, not on the irrational thoughts or the difficult emotions they may stir up.  

6.  Always remember to breathe.  When you breathe deeply, your body can reset so that you are more able to apply both your rational and emotional parts of your brain.  I know this sounds basic, but you would be surprised at how many people either breathe very shallow or hold their breath or breathe too quickly when things get busy in their minds!   Slow your body and brain down by breathing deep breaths.  Slowly breathing in through your nose, hold it for a few seconds, then breathing out.  

7.  Practice what helps.  If you find any of these tools helpful, then practice more!  It means they are working!  And the more you practice doing these skills/using the tools, the easier things will get when your mind starts to go into overdrive.  Remember - you are the driver of your thoughts, your thoughts don't have to drive you!   You can do it!