I am a bipolar person, I get delusional when I get angry. Could that be the reason ?
I read your question and I see you are struggling with anger and delusions. I would advise you to speak with your doctor considering your Bipolar disorder. I suggest you work through your anger identifying your triggers and understanding how both relate. Identifying why you have illusions when you are angry will help you create effective ways to cope with your challenges. It appears you are struggling with some trauma that needs to be identified. Identifying your trauma can assist with controlling your triggers associated with bipolar. This is exhibited when one struggles with the inability to control negative thoughts, conflicting relationships, lack of affection, struggles with inferiority to others, struggles with expressing your thoughts, avoidance, and lack of support. Trauma is associated with a person triggered by past events by present actions and responses. Understanding trauma can be difficult that needs attention from a professional to guide and assist in a healthy way to increase positive ways to explore, process, and discuss alternatives without feeling overwhelmed by the emotions and actions. It also appears that you are exhibiting symptoms of anxiety as you do not understand what you are feeling and how it is connected to your life. Anxiety can be triggered by trauma or the inability to process or cope with negative feelings or thoughts. Anxiety is the inability to stop worrying and control the negative thoughts resulting in a decline in daily activities, create fear and result in depression. My suggestion is to work with a doctor and a counselor to identify your feelings and thoughts associated with trauma, illusions, and confusion to help work through difficulties and cope in a healthy way. It would be best to allow a counselor to assist your weekly in identifying your experiences, feelings, and thoughts related to delusions. Allowing yourself to be helpful will increase your ability to self-soothe and gain control over your life and actions. As you consider your options there are several techniques that will be beneficial. Cognitive Behavior Therapy will help you identify, replace and challenge negative thoughts of yourself as well as negative perception socially to increase healthy coping skills. Dialectal Therapy will help reduce the intensity by learning to regulate your emotions, defuse situations, and set boundaries by challenging isolation and expressing feelings with confidence.