I have difficulty controlling my emotions. What are emotions?

Hello! Thank you so much for your question. This is an important question to understand how to regulate your emotions. One should first understand where emotions come from and what the purpose is of emotions. We have emotions for sheer survival. We would not survive as humans without emotions. This is because emotions are automatic, universal and innate. Emotions are also much faster than our thoughts. Our thoughts can get influenced by the outside world, but our emotions will never take a break. We may even get tired of thinking, but our emotions will not take a break. Our emotions are also a start button before every behavior.

Let's discuss where emotions come from? Most people believe emotions are triggered after someone does something. Thats is not true! Emotions happen after a prompting event. A prompting event is anything that happens in the here and now. Emotions are also triggered by a memory. It is our automatic thoughts or interpretation of the prompting event that causes the emotions. All emotions then trigger a physiological reaction. This then triggers a behavior urge. Our emotions are our bodies' ways of communicating if we are making effective decisions in our life or if we need to change something in our life.

I will break down each emotion below....

Happiness is your body telling you to continue doing what you're doing. Sadness is your body telling you have had enough. Anger tells you, you have been violated and to stand up for yourself. Jealousy is your body prompting you to protect something you already have, or you may lose it. Guilt tells you, you have gone against your own values and to do an action to correct it. Shame signals you have gone against your community. Love guides you towards attachment or mating. Anxiety is your body telling you to to prepare more for an upcoming event, as you may not feel prepared enough. Fear is your body's way of communicating your life, health or well being may be in danger and it prompts you to do something to resolve that.

Regulating our emotions takes time and practice. I highly suggest to start therapy to learn ways to reframe your thoughts, learn to understand your emotions and learn healthy ways to cope, as well as gain insight about your body and emotions. 

Regulating our emotions can be challenging and may be influenced by our current stressors, lack of skill, hormones, genetics and other factors. By working with a therapist, you will learn to identify if you need to work on changing your thoughts, actions or environment.