Is it possible that I may not need therapy, that I can somehow overcome my issues by myself over time?

Hello S! I want to firstly thank you for your question and appreciate that you have now reached out for support with the anxiety you are experiencing. 

I hear that you are experiencing this heavy cycle of feeling anxious and as a result are withdrawing from friendships and connections. You do mention loneliness, and there seems to be within you a desire for being around people and maintaining relationships, hence why you are asking this question and putting this forward. Although there seems to be this real desire, there is this conflicting experience that draws you away, resulting in your isolation and depression. 

When we are in a threatening situation or our body feels we are perceived to be in danger, our brain activates our Sympathetic Nervous System to send out hormones to activate our flight or fight response. This means that our heart rate and breathing rate is increased by adrenaline, so we are ready to fight or run. In these moments our energy needs to be focused on surviving, according to our brain. In your question you referred to running away from people. In this time your body and mind feel you are unsafe and respond. You also mention being on high alert. When we are on high alert, we are naturally looking out for danger or threats that we think may be around, or turn up. This could be from a difficult experience you have witnessed or survived. It could also be a belief of what could occur.

As I read your question, it is evident that you do not feel safe in these situations or occurrences.  Your question emphasizes a need also to be independent and also work on this anxiety alone and without another person. Considering what you are experiencing, this is understandable. A therapist can offer a safe space where you can explore your fears, anxiety, isolation and concerns more. It is also a great way of exploring current and potential coping mechanisms, as well as giving you an outlet and an experience of a safe relationship with another person. 

Self help books and exploring CBT websites may also be beneficial. Here are some techniques you can start to use now, as you decide. 

• Taking deep, slow breaths help by calming people down, but also get that oxygen back into the body, after it being used by the Sympathetic Nervous System. It helps to regulate and get the body back to functioning into a safe state.
• Using the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, you will purposefully take in the details of your surroundings using each of your senses. This technique helps get the thinking part of the brain working again, as this is shut down during high anxious moments.
  • What are 5 things you can see? Details or an object you can see or never noticed.
  • What are 4 things you can feel? Notice the sensation of clothing on your body, the sun on your skin, or the feeling of the chair you are sitting in. Pick up an object and examine its physical qualities.
  • What are 3 things you can hear? This could be a clock, a car engine, birds or wind blowing.
  • What are 2 things you can smell? Try to notice smells in the air around you, like an air freshener or freshly mowed grass. You may also look around for something that has a scent, such as a flower or an unlit candle.
  • What is 1 thing you can taste? Carry small snacks for this step. Pop one in your mouth and focus your attention closely on the flavors.
• Another thing we can use to help get the thinking side of the brain working more are mental activities
  • This could include a word game on your phone/laptop.
  • Count backwards from 100 by 7/6 or 5 (any number!)
  • Pick up an object and describe it in detail.
  • Spell words backwards. 

And you can look online to see other activities that can help. Again therapy can be a great support for you going ahead, and you do not need to necessarily do it on your own. There is support here for you. It may be important for you to explore the trigger in more depth at some stage. Again I want to thank you for question and sharing some of what is happening for you right now.

With Warmth,

Kelly