Suggestion for someone who is dealing with anxiety and overthinking when it comes to communication?

Hi, thanks for reaching out!

Often overthinking and anxiety go hand in hand, with one usually negatively influencing the other.  When we overthink things, it makes us anxious, and when we are feeling anxious, we tend to overthink as to the causes.  It definitely seems as if your anxiety is presenting itself in a way where you are overthinking to the point of shutting down, which can certainly lead to additional frustration and feeling defeated.  It is a good idea to address this, because these continual feelings of being defeated can lead to depression, which too works hand in hand with anxiety and is harder to overcome.

When you are in a situation that you find yourself second guessing or becoming fixated on thoughts, or over-evaluating the situation in your head, try to do a self-check in and ask yourself why you are doing it in that situation.  Once you get an answer, take a minute to gather your thoughts and how you want to express them, and work on being assertive in how you come across expressing them.  If coming up with a response seems overwhelming, its okay to take a step back and excuse yourself from a conversation while you gather your thoughts; simply inform the person that you hear what they are saying and need a minute to get your mind in the right place to respond.  The more you do this, the easier it should get and then you will hopefully find yourself more comfortable in these conversations and less anxious.

If you aren't already working with a therapist, it may be a good idea to consider looking into it, either in person or on a virtual platform like this.  They can help you with some general coping skills for anxiety and focus on how to manage particular anxiety-provoking situations, as well as work on some self-esteem and solution-focused practices to help get into a more positive state of mind as you communicate with others.  If you feel like your anxiety is having a significant impact on your day to day life, it may also be worthwhile to consult a psychiatrist about possible medication management.

Best of luck to you, and feel free to reach out in the future if you need anything further!