What are some tips for dealing with worry, anxiety, and stress?

Hello Nene: 

You asked a very good question. Ruminating thoughts can prevent themselves in a really simple way, such as when you replay a conversation you had with someone in your head. Depending on the conversation with the person, ruminating thoughts about past conversations we have had are not distressing. However, ruminating thoughts can become very distressing, such as when these thoughts become obsessive. An example of this is when someone spends a great deal of time analyzing, worrying, and trying to understand or clarify a past experience. This process could take hours or days of energy away from your life. Often times, excessive ruminating thoughts trigger one-sided conversations in the mind. 

A one-sided conversation in the mind occurs when a person tries to clarify the meaning of a past experience without information from the other person. One-sided conversations in the mind lead to cognitive distortions. Without having all of the information required to make a logical and balanced conclusion, the mind simply fills in the gaps. The mind may do this by jumping to conclusions, pulling emotions from past encounters and projecting those emotions into the current one-sided conversation, catastrophize, or do something similar. 

Sometimes ruminating thoughts can seem inescapable, especially if the mind ties the thought to hurt or disappointment that we have experienced. When ruminating thoughts occur, we can treat them like we would an anxiety-producing thought. We can deal directly with the thought. Then, we can remove the anxiety-producing trigger. 

An approach: 

So, the first thing we are going to do is call a thing a thing. That's right. We are going to acknowledge that we are simply having a thought or thoughts. If you have more than one swirling around the mind. 

Next, we are going to acknowledge that the ruminating thought is emotionally driven. Typically, these thoughts are rooted in fear. Fear of how other people will or have perceived us; fear of shame, guilt, or blame; fear of rejection; fear of success; fear of confrontation; or even the fear of doing something different and feeling discomfort. 

After that, we are going to select a thought that has been taking up space in the mind. That is right. Select the thought that has been coming up in your mind over and over again. List out your thought. (Ex. My friend is talking about me). Now, find a quiet place and a mirror. Then, repeat the thought over and over again, at least 20 times. As you repeat the thought initially, you may feel lots of emotions around the thought. However, as you continue to repeat the thought (without stopping), you may notice that you are getting tired of saying that thought aloud. If you have a challenge saying the thought, try stepping outside of yourself (pulling on the strength of your future self) and saying the thought aloud. If you can, continue to say the thought a few more times. 

The goal here is to exhaust the thought in your mind. The thought does not disappear. However, you can desensitize yourself to the thought, and you would have exposed yourself to the anxiety of the thought for a controlled period of time. After you finish the exercise, you will see that you can withstand experiencing ruminating thoughts -- and, that you can excuse ruminating thoughts away. 

Other approaches you can employ for anxiety include box breathing, imagery, progressive muscle relaxation, and cognitive behavioral therapy. Working with a licensed mental health professional can help you manage your anxiety and other areas of concern.