What can I do to divert attention? Is what I'm feeling normal? Am I over reacting?

Hello, thank you for your question. Having a baby is a new experience; in some ways, you can dissociate because of what you have been through. From the pregnancy process, the baby's delivery, and then coming home holding a new small person you feel completely responsible for. It can be scary, and because of all the changes in your thoughts, feelings, memories, sense of the world, or sense of self, you may feel disconnected. Being a good mom does not mean being a “perfect” mom; it means learning, growing, and getting better each day. You will make mistakes, and there will be many things you do not know. If you can get support from family and friends, it is okay to ask them for help. Asking for help does not mean you are not a good mom; it means you are. 

Take it one day at a time and ask yourself, what definitions and standards are you comparing yourself to? What is your definition and understanding of a good mom? There are many resources where you search any web platform and explore what you “should” be doing. Should statements and “should” messages only make you feel worse and critical of yourself?  You have only been a mother for three months, so each day is something new you have learned.

One of your “core beliefs” might be, “I am not good enough.” Core beliefs are our most deeply held assumptions about ourselves, the world, and others. Has this been your first time feeling like you are not good enough? I am not sure of the circumstances that led you to feel like you are not good enough as a mom, but I can encourage you to consider what you are using to measure your “worth” and “value” in general. In other words, what does being a good mom look like to you? You can notice that your thoughts are just coming up that are often motivated by fear and worry. Sometimes, your thoughts can become a bit more negative, distorting what is happening.

Going to therapy would also be a good option to help you adapt and adjust to this new process and provide you with more support through this new experience. 

Again, I know you are going through a lot. Just because you feel like you are not a good mom does not mean you are not a "good" mom. You are still learning and growing, and this process takes time.

Please reach out for more support because it is okay to need help. Thank you for reaching out already, and you have already taken a very helpful first step. Take care and good luck.