Why do I lie about things to save or cover myself?

Hello, and thank you so much for reaching out with this question. I know how difficult it can be to discuss problematic behaviors and challenges that you were dealing with in your personal life, so thank you very much for having the courage and strength to come forward with this question in your search to improve your relationships and your life.

There are so many different ways to answer the question that you asked. And to be honest there are some answers right within the question itself. You asked why it is that you lie but the second half of the question actually says that you do so to save yourself and cover yourself in certain situations. Do you want to appear as though you have it all together and you also want to ensure other people around you are satisfied with your behavior. These pieces of your question alone may set the framework for therapeutic relationship between you and a counselor so that you can tease out more of the causes for this behavior  and potentially identify new behaviors that are healthier and less likely to backfire than lies.

The problem with the current behavior that you are engaging in is that, while it works temporarily as a bandaid approach for difficult or stressful situations, it can set you up for even greater difficulties and problems with relationships in the long run. Lying once can lead to further lies and can ultimately damage or destroy components of your life or even ruin relationships completely. I am sure that, in some ways, you have experienced some of the downsides of this behavior and that is why you were seeking guidance here at BetterHelp.

The good news is that there are many ways to address this concern and potentially identify new and healthier skills when dealing with difficult situations in interpersonal relationships. You will likely work with a counselor to identify alternative ways that you can "save" yourself in a situations where you feel you need to save face. And part of that may be confronting some insecurities that you may be feeling and ultimately becoming more comfortable with the fact that you make mistakes at times. Another important thing to remember is that we all make mistakes and it is not something you cannot recover from.

I truly feel that with therapy you may be able to identify and really impact the reasons why you run to this behavior when you feel as though you've made a mistake. Additionally, therapy can help you to confront the mistakes that you have made and handled them in a way that is mature and likely to result in more positive outcomes than the practice of lying. I wish you the best of luck!