Why just I don't feel like me anymore and I just feel so overwhelmed and stressed?

You ask why you have ceased to feel like your usual self and now feel overwhelmed and worried. Reading your explanations to support your question, I think that you intuitively know why you are not where you should be in your life emotionally, socially, etc. 

You mentioned that you are in a job that you don't like, and even though you are learning a new skill, you are not happy. You compare yourself to your younger sibling, who earns more money than you. Finally, you speak about the stress of entering an arranged marriage. I will address each of these points separately and provide you with some ideas on addressing them. 

 

Regarding your work, why are you staying in a job that makes you unhappy? Do you have no other options? Is the job problematic, or do you have a challenging work environment? If you like the type of work and can't change employers, I invite you to make the best out of a difficult situation. If you dislike the job with a passion and feel unfulfilled by it, I encourage you to seek another type of work and perhaps receive additional training in a field that is better suited for you. What is keeping you from pursuing your dreams? Do you know what you would like to do? What would you wish for regarding a career if you had a magic wand? 

What can you learn from your current position? Are there skills you need that you can develop while at that company? Remember that the average person now changes job every two to three years. You can hardly think of that position as the one you will occupy for the rest of your life. Don't overthink the future and try to present to address your needs. If you feel that the situation is unmanageable or slowly dying emotionally, you should seek an alternative solution immediately. 

 

My rule number one for happiness is inspired by Arthur Schopenhauer, who wrote about not comparing oneself to others. He basically stated that when you compare yourself to others, you take from yourself the right to feel truly happy. Each person in the world is unique, and measuring yourself against others' accomplishments will only make you feel bad. People generally tend to compare themselves to people who have accomplished something, gained notoriety, earned money, etc. I would invite you to do a complete inventory of what you have done. You probably have achieved far more than you know. Do you tend to go from one project to the next without fully acknowledging yourself? Do you tend to be overly critical of yourself? Are you ever satisfied with the outcome of your projects, realizations, and ideas? If, through these questions, you realize that you are tough on yourself, become softer. It is okay to expect a lot from oneself but not at the expense of feeling miserable. The more you will practice acknowledging what you do right, the more it will reflect in your relations with others and impact your work, social interactions, family life, etc.

 

Finally, I saved the best for last: let's discuss your marriage. It seems that in your family and social culture, you seek out the help of a matchmaker to get married. Marriage is a fantastic celebration that causes stress even in the best situation. I can only imagine being afraid of marrying someone that you hardly know. Do you have much say on who you are going to marry? Does he have to be part of a particular ethnic group or religion? What are the qualities that you seek in your ideal partner? Do you want to get married, or do you feel unprepared? 

The nuance between an arranged marriage and a forced marriage is in the constraint. Arranged marriage is a cultural tradition. In general, it is the families who offer to bind their children. You can give your opinion, and your consent is necessary. When you talk about support, it can be uninformed consent, a decision made quickly. One thinks of hasty marriages during the summer holidays, without the young people having had time to mature their decision. 

I invite you to think about the process of getting married and take your time. Are you in a rush, or do you feel pressure to get married? People who generally operate in a hurry come to regret their decisions because they didn't think them through. Are you somewhat impulsive or reactive, or do you need more time to move forward? 

I don't know if my answers will please you or help you, but I hope that you will be able to use some of my advice to improve your life. It does not seem that you have one thing going on right now but that you are facing multiple situations in your life that bring about stress. Your reaction is, therefore, entirely appropriate. Have you ever consulted a therapist? Are you open to seeking counseling help, whether in the community or online? I would advise you to seek someone familiar with your culture who understands what you are going through from a cultural and social perspective. I don't know much about arranged marriages, so I don't believe that I would be the right psychotherapist for you.

 

Still, I know that on BetterHelp, there are over twenty-thousand psychotherapists, and many of them would be a great fit. Please take a minute, do some research, and if you feel ready, sign up for services. If you prefer to seek a therapist in the community, there are many avenues to be paired with a great counselor. If you have insurance, call them and ask them for a list of providers in your zip code. If you don't have mental health insurance, you can use psychology today and seek someone who works on a sliding scale. 

 

Don't hesitate to ask another question if you feel that you need additional information.