Am I right to feel lonely and disappointment?

Our feelings are always valid and shed light on our experiences and perspectives. Often the individuals we interact with see and feel those interactions differently than how we do; that is okay and expected. It is in those interactions that we can feel hurt and alone, struggling to be understood and wanting to be heard. And when enough time goes by where we feel diminished and unloved, we may choose to display reactionary behaviors; becoming escalated easily or relating to others in a thoughtless manner, as more of a way to protect ourselves than anything. We fall into interpersonal survival mode, doing what we need to do to not be hurt any more than we already are and attempt to minimize the already existing hurt.

It can be helpful to learn skills such as assertive communication tools, practicing "I feel..."  statements that lack judgement to others and ourselves, and utilizing positive affirmations/self talk. All of these skills can feel unnatural at first, much like learning something new like knitting or riding a bicycle. But, as with anything, given time and practice, these skills can become second nature and become our new normal. We seamlessly integrate these new skills into our daily interactions and we feel more at peace with our relationships or at the very least more at peace with how we are presenting ourselves and being true to ourselves as we interact with others. We find ourselves on the firm foundation of our truest selves and navigate from that space as we traverse our days and lives.

Also learning some useful CBT skills, such as 'Catch, Check, and Change' which can aid in decreasing negative thought distortions. It's so easy to say and believe statements such as, "I am unlovable". But when we utilize the CBT skill we are able to realize that it is inaccurate. Lots of people love us, but perhaps in that moment we are simply not feeling loved. And this begins a conversation of healing and processing.

Building clear goals of what we want to integrate into our lives can help bring clarity and healing on the life journey, as well as discovering our most authentic selves.