Can’t move on

Hello, and thank you so much for reaching out for help. I can't imagine how painful it must've been writing all of that out and how hard it must be to put everything that you were going through out there for a total stranger to weigh in on and offer support for. The fact that you were willing to reach out and took that step shows me that there is strength in you. You are resilient and you have the ability to overcome even the most devastating circumstances like the ones you are experiencing now. Thank you for having the courage to reach out and thank you for caring about yourself enough to not give up during this extremely difficult time.

Based on your question and narrative I see that you have gone through a terrible break up in which your partner betrayed you in some manner. The one person you felt would care for you, protect your heart and keep your emotions safe did the very thing you never expected them to do. Because of that, the two of you are no longer together and after six months you are still finding it difficult to move on and accept that this relationship is over. You feel pain every day and you have lost the ability to find pleasure in the things that brought you joy historically. We're at a point now where your level of functioning on a day to day basis is significantly disrupted and you are finding no solace, no ability to share this with the people around you for fear of their judgment and lack of understanding. 

I want you to know that therapy and working with a qualified mental health professional can absolutely be something that helps you to move past this traumatic time and grow to love yourself and love life once again. It is something that may take a significant amount of time and there will undoubtedly be moments where you feel as though you are not making progress or are sliding back into the pain and sadness you are currently feeling. Please know that progress is never a linear process. There will be good days and I can guarantee you they will also be some bad days in between.

What you have to remember is that you deserve happiness. You deserve peace and you deserve a love that will never betray you and that will keep your heart safe. You deserve a relationship that only makes things better regardless of whether you're in the presence of your partner or not. You deserve to feel confident and trusting of your partner and deserve peace at the end of the day knowing that the foundation of your relationship is solid and the two of you are a team. What's more is that I truly believe you can find that even with all the heart that you are currently experiencing. I believe it is possible to overcome your misery and find yourself on the other side in more knowledge, a higher self esteem and the level of self love that will never stand for the type of treatment you received in this last relationship again. You can get there, and therapy can help.

Whatever you decide, please know that you must always be the center of your own universe in every decision that you make.  You deserve joy and love and you can get through this. I wish you the absolute best!