Do I need a therapist if I just got out of a long-term relationship with someone? or will it pass??

I just got out of a serious relationship and I have been pretty sad about it. I have been hanging out with friends and going on adventures but I still feel pretty sad about the whole thing. I'm not sure if I need therapy or if this is a normal feeling that will eventually pass.
Asked by Ty

Hey there! Thanks so much for reaching out in regards to your recent relationship loss, that is such a tough road to navigate when emotions are so raw and you may be feeling an immense amount of grief and loss. They say breakups are one of the toughest things we go through as humans, so I am happy you are reaching out to possibly engage in therapy. It is going to take some time and space for you to regain your emotional equilibrium. You have to think about grieving the loss of a relationship but also all the hopes/dreams you may of been planning or expecting to go through with that person. Not sure how your relationship ended but now you are having to rewrite your story with a new character. This can be scary but also exciting because you don't know what lies ahead. It sounds like you are really leaning into friends and doing things you enjoy which is very important, but you also need to give yourself time to feel your emotions and process what went on in your relationship- was there some areas you perhaps need to do some self reflection? Was this partner good for you and your life, did you have shared values and dreams that aligned? If so, taking the journey you had together as a wonderful memory and thing you can cherish but also teach you valuable life lessons about who you are, what you learned in that relationship and what you may want in future relationships as well. I want to share some ideas of things you can do to help take care of you during this hard time, and let yourself grieve your relationship which is a common thing for most when romantic relationships end. 

Here are 50 self-care ideas to use when you are having a down day:

  1. Call or text someone you love
  2. Drink a cup of tea or coffee
  3. Journal about how you’re feeling
  4. Take some deep breaths
  5. Listen to your favorite music
  6. Go for a long walk in nature
  7. Cook or order in your favorite meal
  8. Read a book
  9. Light your favorite candle
  10. Do a digital detox
  11. Go to your favorite place
  12. Stretch
  13. Try a new face mask
  14. Read inspirational quotes
  15. Get some sleep
  16. Organize or rearrange your space
  17. Buy yourself flowers
  18. Exercise in a way that feels good for you
  19. Write down 5 things you’re grateful for
  20. Spend quality time with friends or family
  21. Turn on a diffuser with your favorite essential oils
  22. Watch the sunset
  23. Practice mindful meditation
  24. Take a bath or shower
  25. Watch your favorite show
  26. Turn your phone off for a bit
  27. Go for a drive (no destination required)
  28. Put on an outfit that makes you feel good
  29. Practice yoga
  30. Sleep with a weighted blanket
  31. Try learning something new
  32. Let yourself have a good cry (sometimes we need it)
  33. Implement a morning and night routine you enjoy
  34. Make a playlist of your favorite songs
  35. Write down 5 things you love about yourself
  36. Try out an adult coloring book
  37. Listen to a podcast or audiobook
  38. Do something creative (painting, writing, drawing, etc.)
  39. Bake a delicious treat
  40. Clean out your email inbox
  41. Drink more water
  42. Donate to a cause you care about
  43. Take a break from the news
  44. Start a skincare routine
  45. Cuddle with a pet
  46. Unfollow people on social media who aren’t serving you
  47. Get some fresh air
  48. Write a letter to a loved one
  49. Sit and be still for 10 minutes
  50. Do a full-body scan

These are just some of many ideas for how you can practice self-care. What makes you feel the most rested and at peace is unique to you. Still, I hope you realize you are doing what is best for you right now, and whatever that looks like. I say if you are feeling like you are stuck or can't seem to get over these sad feelings therapy is a great place to process all this with a neutral professional who can help guide you and offer support. 


Best of luck to you!