How can I get better? Is it even possible?

Greetings LL, I will be more than happy to answer your question. I am so sorry you are going through these challenges. When it comes to symptoms of depression, both medication and psychotherapy could be beneficial in your wellness and recovery. When we are going through periods of low mood, sadness, irritability, low motivation, anhedonia, hopeless, helplessness, and so many other complex feeling associated with depression, it is not uncommon for isolation and withdrawal to occur.

I encourage you to seek support and treatment recommendations from a therapist and/or a psychiatrist in order to process and work through some of the challenges that have resulted in these insecurities. Having a safe space during these challenging times may give you a different perspective and help you to work through challenges from your past, which may be hindering you from reaching life goals of having healthy relationships with others.

We all desire to have that sense of safety and support from the people we love and trust; however, when abandonment incidents occur, it may cause us to avoid opening up and trusting others due to fear of being hurt or abandoned again. Until we identify the incidents and achieve a sense of closure, it is very difficult to move on, which may be why you have had to go into self-preservation mode and leave relationships due to fear of abandonment.

If you are not yet ready to open up to a professional, please consider taking some time to write your thoughts down in a journal. Do not worry about handwriting, grammar, or spelling while writing these journal entries. Leave it for a few days and go back to it to read what you wrote. There may be thoughts and feelings, which surfaced and you have been unaware of them. These entries will open new discussions within yourself and may be the opening piece you need to start the therapeutic process.

It may also benefit you to write down qualities you desire in people who you would like in your support system. You may find that the people who have been involved in your life may have not had the qualities you desire in people you need in your life. Often times, there is an expectation that our families should be there for us, but unfortunately, that is not always the case.

I hope you find these answers helpful. Please feel free to reach out if I can be of any further assistance. I wish you luck on your wellness and recovery!