How can I reach out without feeling the guilt of being a burden?

Hi Jade,

More often than not, the strongest one suffers by being the "rock" of the family, always holding it together and never allowing themselves to feel or show weakness for fear that the rest of the family may suffer needlessly. It is admirable to be the "rock" of your family, but you do have to be able to lean on and show others in your family that you are human, as human as they are. They need to be able to help you in turn as you help them. This is often a hard lesson for all to learn, and never easy to transition. On thing you should definitely work on is being okay to show that you are tired, struggling and in pain. What should make a family stronger is not to depend on one person, but to be able to depend on each other for all the things that may occur. A recent movie has come out in saying that very thing, that a family together that help one another is a "fortress". This means that you all help each other. 

To work on your depression, you will have to find several positives about yourself that will help you see the light in the darkness of your days. First, find a counselor that is well suited to your personality here on BetterHelp, and begin the process of working on your self-view and self-esteem, as you probably have been way too hard on yourself. If you feel this isn't enough, you may need a little assistance in having to go to a doctor and obtaining a temporary prescription to help you address the depressive symptoms that you are encountering. You may have to begin to slowly include your family, and let them know one person at a time that you need their help and support, as you can not do this alone. Being the backbone of the family you have to remember, is only part of the body of the family, you have others that may have wanted to help, but never knew how to ask, as you always seemed to have it together. But please seek assistance as soon as you are able. 

Warmly,