Ask a therapist > Depression > How do I just keep pushing through everything bringing me down?

How do I just keep pushing through everything bringing me down?

Everything is going bad. Car troubles, roommates, girlfriend and work. Nothing is slowing down for me whether it is simple or complex.

I've been let go from my previous job, my new job, soon to start is further than any other job I've had and my car may not even be able to make it for a week but I'm pushing through it just to make it by. So I'm having built up anxiety about this situation I am in.

On top of that, I have to guide my roommates to push in a better direction to keep a roof over our head. Rent is coming in quick, so now I'm becoming stressed out more, and my girlfriend isn't helping me get through this correctly.

My girlfriend gets upset with me for feeling any certain type of way, she just reflects my emotions to herself so I'm the one who puts aside my feelings to make her feel better when I'm the one who needs to be cheered up.

I am not getting to the point that my head feels like static, I am just here. Even if I may be important to these people in my life, I never amount to anything for anyone. I could always do better and that's how I feel, that even if I give my all and more, it is never enough. Not for my family, not for my friends, nobody.

My life is not my own. It seems I live for everybody else but myself. I have been through way too much emotional problems, but nobody cares to listen to me without being upset for me feeling a certain way.
Show more
Asked by Joey
Depression
Answered
10/27/2022

Hi there, I am glad that you reached out.

It sounds like you are feeling burned out and maybe even possibly dissociating at times based on what you wrote about feeling as though you are "just here". I would look up both the term dissociating and depersonalization to learn more about this and then I would speak to a doctor or therapist about it.

Having these moments in life when it feels like everything is going wrong and nothing feels as good as it used to, is normal. I know that may not help you feel any better in this moment but it's important to remember that throughout the years, we will find ourselves in "valleys" so to speak. Life is an endless series of peaks and valleys in which the tide changes all the time. It's important to build your tolerance to change, disappointment and fear. 

You said that your girlfriend isn't responding correctly, I would be interested to know more about what you meant by that. Sometimes, it's important to remember that we are the beginning and end of our own emotions and thoughts. People, even people who are close to us, cannot change or improve our thoughts and emotions, only we can do that.

I would begin working on writing down what you need in terms of what thoughts and emotions are causing you most distress and work on changing those. Our thoughts create our emotions and so, we can begin with our thoughts and figure out what thought patterns are causing us the most distress. Do you believe that nothing in your life will ever change? Do you believe that you have the ability and/or tools to change your life for the better? If you do not believe that you can feel better or that you are capable and worthy of feeling better, it may feel like you are in a constant state of depression and anxiety because there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I would work to decide that you are going to have hope for your future and then purposely act on those thoughts and I wouldn't wait for others to validate those beliefs. 

I wish you all the best!

(MS, LPC, NCC)