I am having a really hard time emotionally opening up to my kids. How do i stop feeling numb?

Hello - By asking the question you indicate you are ready to figure out how the thoughts and feelings you are having are connected and how they lead to behaviors you are not proud of. Feeling depressed and stuck can result from different sources. Some are external, like living through a pandemic, and some internal, like feeling isolated, stressed, and overwhelmed.  Navigating a pandemic and social unrest with three children who look to you for guidance may lead to feelings of helplessness and uncertainty about how to help them feel safe. We can start with the idea of the oxygen mask; let's make sure you can breathe so we can help the kids breathe too. Believe I will not judge you or shame you; my role is to support you to live the life you deserve. 

Life can be unpredictable, and it is OK that you feel disconnected. Such feelings are natural and are reactions to how you perceive the world around you. Both feelings we enjoy and the uncomfortable ones are important to acknowledge and both play an important part in our overall wellbeing. The enjoyable feelings are a reward for being who we most want to be; the uncomfortable feelings let you know when things aren’t right. For example, anger might let us know when someone isn’t respecting your boundaries.  Intense emotions like overwhelm, anxiety, and fear help you know that something about your life needs to shift. Whether the reasons for the thoughts and the feelings of stuckness are external and/or internal, they reflect that you are feeling threatened and uncertain what to do to feel safe again. 

At this point, it may be that waiting for something to change hasn't worked, what you've tried to do on your own hasn't worked out, and the thoughts and feelings have become more intense. You see that your current self is impacting your children in ways that add to the sense of stuckness and irritation, and that's the last thing you want. 

Let's begin by helping you feel supported and validated in your experience. Together, we can help you feel more connected to yourself and to your children.