I could use someone to talk to and get guidance from but don’t know where to start?

I am a struggling beginning teacher at the high school level, dealing with challenges of being in my 20s, navigating life and independence. I am a very strong person and have had great success in my life but go through great ups and downs. I have periods of being really great mentally, in the flow of life, and others where I am ultra anxious and feeling helpless. Looking to bring more balance into my life. I do well with structure and am a bit of a control freak. Very into mindfulness and taking care of myself, but have been at a low these past few months and haven’t been able to get myself out of it. I am a bit of a mess right now. Main thing causing me stress is my job, I want to do something else but don’t know what. Feel like I would be giving up too soon if I quit teaching. Feeling like a failure in many areas of life, I tend to get too much in my head and could use some guidance.
Asked by Finn

Hi Finn, 

You don't say how long you've been teaching for exactly, but there is a lot to unpack there. Could it be the teaching job you are doing now that you're struggling with, would a different school/environment help you to feel better? Just something to think about. You describe that you go through ups and downs, could this be just a down phase, rather than you wanting to give up teaching completely? Again, just something to think about. 

I'm wondering where that feeling of helplessness comes from and if that is playing a part, being in a new work environment can be overwhelming, and can lead to feeling a bit out of control. 

You mention feeling like a failure in many areas of life, so I'm wondering what else might be going on for you to cause how you're feeling at the moment. However, even if you were to give up your teaching role, that in no way would make you a failure, it would make you someone who wants to be happy, and that is totally ok. Again I'm wondering where this feeling of failure comes from, and if it impacts on your self-esteem. Is this playing in to some insecurities?

All that said, I'm a massive believer in that we all have it within us to be happy, and if you believe that teaching is what is causing you unhappiness, then maybe you do need to explore other options, and what they might look like for you. 

You mention that you get stuck in your head, if you try to tune in to your heart or your instincts, what do they tell you? Are they all in alignment with what's in your head or are there any alternative voices there? What are they telling you? 

You mentioned mindfulness and self care, but I'm wondering if you are doing any other activities outside of work that are just for you right now? Teaching is a full on career choice and so I'm wondering if you're getting enough downtime or doing the things that bring you joy. 

Hope this helps...