I feel I have post partum. I also have past childhood trauma and just lost my mother in law.

Good afternoon,

I am so sorry that you are not feeling your best right now. It can actually take a couple of years after we have a baby for our body and hormones to get back to a normal level and for us to start feeling better. If you are experiencing depression of any kind it can actually be made worse by the death of your mother in law. That is a lot to go through all at once. It can be overwhelming and hard to help ourselves through.

I am glad you reached out for help because there are some things you can do to help yourself cope and start to feel better, even while you are going though all the stages of grief. It is normal when you are grieving to feel angry and numb and depressed and even anxious and to go through denial and stages of feeling peace or acceptance. You can go through all the stages of grief several times and they do not come in order. You can experience each more than once and if you feel that you have postpartum depression it can be exacerbated. You can learn so many ways to help you manage depression and also learn about ways you can get support from other mothers and support groups if you want to reach out. 

It would be a good idea also if you have a support system or someone that would be able to occasionally help you with the baby so that you feel you have a break and you can get some good rest. Sleep depravation can cause us to feel things so much deeper which can be a problem sometimes.

It is a great thing that you reached out and you could benefit so much from therapy sessions!