I’m depressed and I feel like my boss is trying to get rid of me…..

Hello,

No one should feel unappreciated and disrespected at work. It sounds like you also feel trapped, as leaving would impact medical insurance and your son's tuition. You've reached out to HR, and I think you should continue to do that, and if necessary go to that woman's supervisor. But the important thing is for you to take care of your mental health. Having that much stress at work probably makes it difficult to relax in the evenings, and you probably have a number of other responsibilities at home already. Prioritizing self-care is always essential, but it becomes even more important when we're dealing with stress at work, the place we spend so much time. We have to make time to do things that we enjoy. We need to have things to look forward to. Therapy could help you to examine the balance that you have in your life and seek greater self-care to have greater control over your life outside of work.

Since our feelings come from our thoughts and beliefs, some of the statements that your boss are saying to you may be particularly triggering, especially having grown up with a learning disability. Try to pay attention to what you are telling yourself about yourself. What do you tell yourself that allows her comments to have so much effect on you? Do her statements trigger any traumatic memories? Do they change how you view yourself? Working on self-esteem, which can involve being deliberate about recognizing your good qualities, may help her comments to you have less effect. I would also explore how you are taking care of yourself with regards to sleep, as it's common for stress at work to affect the sleep, which only makes one's mental health even more compromised.

Working on using assertive communication may be helpful as well. The idea of being assertive with your boss may seem impossible, but working on using "I feel" statements may be helpful. It is possible that your boss does not realize the effect that she has been having on you, and even if she does and does not stop what she is doing, being assertive with her, letting her know that even though she is your boss, you are asking that she would talk to you in a different manner, may at least help you feel empowered to express yourself.

Finally, you mentioned feeling depressed. Depression is not something that we have to just accept; therapy can help, exercise can help, and medication can help for some people. You don't have to live feeling depressed. 

I encourage you to give therapy a try, and just let me know if I can help or if you have any additional questions.

Take care,

Nick DeFazio