Loneliness vs lonely?

Being lonely and experiencing loneliness are two connected concepts. The word “lonely” is what one would use to describe someone experiencing a state of “loneliness.” But, that begs the question, what are these concepts in the first place? Loneliness, or the state of being lonely, refers to the onset of negative, distressful emotions associated with social isolation. This isolation is often more perceived (a.k.a. mental and emotional) than physical. Someone can experience loneliness while living in a crowded dorm or a city of more than 6 million people.

Loneliness can exist by itself, or it can indicate symptoms of mental health issues such as depression.  It is also important to note that, while the act of isolating oneself from others often involves a set of choices and decisions,  loneliness does not. Loneliness can feel involuntary and “out of control” to those who are experiencing it.  Someone cannot control how they feel, and loneliness is no exception to that rule.  That being said, there are things that people can do to avoid or better their feelings of loneliness.

In this day and age, we are both more connected to one another and yet further apart.  With social media apps, dating apps, and more creative ways for us to socially connect, it would seem as though we wouldn’t have a reason to feel lonely or that it would be harder for us to isolate socially.  We’re also living in a time period where there is a false sense of security regarding maintaining relationships.  The phenomenon of experiencing that one is in a relationship/friendship but actually is not actively engaging with others is made easier by social media apps.  One can convince themselves that they are engaging with other people when in reality they are not actively communicating one on one but, instead, watching someone’s “feed” or “timeline.”  One way to help avoid loneliness is to be more mindful of what one’s presence in their life looks like.  Are they actually communicating or engaging with people? Are they passive observers to the updates in people’s lives? Trying to reach out and have conversations with people is how loneliness can begin to dissipate.