Struggling with anxiety and also I don’t know if I’m lazy or if I have depression.

Hi Jamz, 

I'm glad you reached out by submitting this question. You mentioned you didn't know where to start and putting your thoughts down about your experience and asking this question is absolutely a place to start. As you wrote, it can be challenging financially to make therapy happen and also historically therapy has gotten a bad reputation. But the reality is therapy can be for anyone who is struggling with anything. The counselor has specific knowledge and expertise to walk with another person and guide them along their journey as an unbiased third party. Unlike friends and family a counselor isn't part of your world, so they can see things from a different perspective and work with you on realistic (and even evidenced based) ways to move forward. 

You mentioned you were taking online classes, I would encourage you to check with your school to see what kind of resources they might have for their students. It is possible an online school has some sort of option to assist with the wellness of their students. Outside of that, if you look into other locations and you have insurance you may be responsible for a co-pay only, rather than the full cost of the appointment. In addition, you could also check with BetterHelp support, should you like to initiate therapy through this platform and see, given your financial situation, what your cost options might be.

I understand it may feel daunting to think about how to go about even looking into some options as noted above, given the feeling of laziness you mentioned. We know when individuals are diagnosed with depression (please note, this is not a diagnosis of depression for you) it is very important to monitor and manage thoughts, as negative thought patterns can allow a person to spiral downward and keep thinking negative thoughts. 

Remind yourself that your thoughts are not facts. They are just thoughts. To combat negative thinking, first it is important to acknowledge the thoughts. Notice they're there and see that they are simply thoughts. I often encourage individuals with whom I'm working to distance themselves from those thoughts by saying "I am having a feeling of" rather than saying "I am." An example: "I'm having a feeling of anxiety" instead of "I am so anxious" or "I am having a feeling of being lazy" instead of "I am so lazy right now!" 

When it comes to anxiety, my quick definition is that anxiety is the fear of the unknown - especially if you haven't had an opportunity to do something in the past it very well may feel scary to try it or even imagine yourself doing it. Sometimes even one bad experience is enough to have us experience anxiety anytime we encounter a similar experience, as you may have noticed with social situations.

At its primitive level, our brain wants to keep us safe. That's it's job. When we are in challenging and stressful situations our brain doesn't take notice or even care what the situation is- it can be striking up a conversation with someone we don't know well (but might like to know better and therefore, we want to look good) or coming face to face with a bear. Our brain wants to keep us safe and will override our "thinking brain" (prefrontal cortex) in order to streamline things to get our body ready for action (to run from the threat). Again, that's happening in all situations whether a social interaction or an actual safety concern. 

Working with a therapist would be a great way to start the journey of managing the anxiety and depression, and I hope that could be an option for you. However, Edmund J. Bourne has a workbook The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook that has been helpful for clients with whom I have worked. A book I often recommend to clients is also The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris, too. 

I wish you the best on your journey,

Lindsey Maurer, MA, LPCC