What can I do to make myself feel better with what I’m doing

Hello and thank you for your question.

I will attempt to answer the question best I can based on the information provided.

It sounds like things are becoming overwhelming. One way to approach this situation is through self-compassion. Similar to how therapists may approach something like depression, we do not try to make them feel like they are not doing enough. For example, the person cannot just stop feeling a certain way or “snap” themselves out of it. Furthermore, if a person approaches getting better in this way, they will likely feel worse. I usually notice that an individual will begin to be hard on themselves for feeling a certain way or put themselves down for not feeling better right away. Later, they get stuck in this cycle of having a low mood and putting themselves down for feeling low.

Instead, I encourage you to be even more kind to yourself and recognize any positive moments throughout the day. At this time, those simple things like spending time with your family or going out to eat should be viewed as a small victory. You may say to yourself “that this is not enough”, or “it is not the same as it used to be”. However, the issue with this kind of thinking is that it keeps you in a low mood. Instead, attempt to view it as something that you attempted today or completed today. These are steps forward in you trying to get better rather than being completely stagnant.

Moreover, staying active, being social and doing things that you usually like can always be helpful. Family and others will likely encourage you to do this often. However, keep in mind that when we are struggling with a low mood or are feeling overwhelmed, it just makes sense that it is going to be harder to complete things. Thus, an individual can continue to complete tasks, but do not become upset if you are not going at the pace you usually are. For example, people will say they used to exercise every day but now they are not going to the gym as often as they used to. Instead of focusing on the idea that they are not doing enough of what they used to, I focus on what they have been able to accomplish so far. I also recommend starting small again, like being able to at least start walking rather than why they did not go to the gym.

Also, I am unsure about the other issues that could be impacting you specifically. Thus, I may not know the exact impact everything could be having on you at the time. Regardless of how difficult these things may be, being kind to yourself and recognizing those emotions is not likely going cause harm. 

I highly recommend therapy services as a way to process some of this information further. It can be helpful to sit down and come up with a game plan with a licensed therapist about what you could change. Further, it gives a space to talk more deeply about these concerns and really process the emotion.

Thank you again for your question!