What can I do to not feel depressed?

Hi Sam,

 

Depression is quite common and can flare up or be triggered by different events in our lives.  Can you identify any recent stressors that might have contributed to the increased in hopelessness?  Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) involves paying attention to how our thoughts, feelings and behavior are all connected.  Often times, unhealthy behaviors are the result of unhealthy thoughts. Finding a therapist who offers CBT and is skilled in treating depression may be beneficial for you.  There also CBT workbooks on depression that can be helpful for people.  One I would recommend is The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Depression: A Step-by-Step Program by William J. Knaus and Albert Ellis PhD, who is well known for his psychotherapy training institute.

 

And are you one that often “shoulds” on yourself, meaning you say to yourself “I ought to have done this...” or “I shouldn’t have done this…”?  Such thinking can often result in a feeling of guilt, or other unpleasant feelings.  Working to replace these negative thoughts with more positive ones can help change the way you feel.  For example, a simple adjustment of replacing “should” with “can” may make a world of difference.  Our self-talk really matters!  

 

I would also suggest working to expand your support system, as well as having a consistent self-care practice.  What do you do for your self-care?  Try to have mindful moments throughout the day, seeking out some creature comforts or pampering like a massage, and also finding a hobby or activity you truly enjoy and getting lost in it.  Since your self-esteem sounds like it needs a boost, take the time to notice what you really like about yourself and honor this.  For some, they will do a daily mirror exercise that involves looking at oneself and saying all the positive features you can think of (this includes considering both internal and external traits!). Try saying them aloud and also “I love you” to your reflection.  It may seem silly and awkward at first, but can be worth it.

 

Below are some additional tips that I often provide in my responses.  Take a look and identify if any of these might help you:

• Emotions need to be voiced, including anger.  Having a regular practice of feelings identification can be useful.  This entails pausing throughout the day to ask yourself “What is it that I am feeling” and trying to accurately name that feeling.  (If you google "feelings wheel," you will find a resource that can aid in this).  Also notice what thoughts are associated with the feeling/s, as well as physical sensations.  Doing so even three times a day is a good place to start; and there are also lots of guided meditations that can help in this regard.
• Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to become depressed, and release some needed endorphins.  Even one workout can make a world of difference! It is ideal to do so on a regular basis, and you can also do so in the moment when you feel yourself becoming down, even if it is to go for a walk and get some sunshine or be in nature.
• Practice relaxation skills.  I know I am repeating myself when I say self-care is so key! Try such calming & meditative exercises as deep-breathing, imagery of a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or mantra you create for yourself such as “I can get through this… I am strong and confident.”  Journaling thoughts and feelings can also be useful.  And don’t forget to laugh!  Having a sense of humor and being able to look on the bright side can go a long way in achieving a sense of peace and happiness. 

 

I hope you find some of this helpful.  There are a number of qualified BetterHelp clinicians who I am sure would be happy to work with you if you decide to take that step.  I wish you all the best for the rest of your 2022!  Think about what was helpful and harmful for you this past year, and incorporate more of what can help so that it can still be a great year for you.

 

Good luck and be well!

-Alicia