What should I do when i feel like I'm not enough anymore?

We all struggle at some level with living up to the expectations of others, and it really can impact us. The expectation of others begins from the time we are born. Think about your parents and how they establish rules for how we should behave. Also, for example, when we go to school, we have educational standards and goals to live up to, and we can only advance to the next grade when we meet them. Think about for you where does this come from?

Even though we all have this expectation at a young age, sometimes the pressure we put on ourself to live up to others expectations comes from a deeper root. How were you raised? Were the rules strict or flexible? Our self-image can suffer as rigid thinking makes us feel like we're the problem, because we feel we are constantly messing up because we're not conforming to the ideas in our mind. Often what happens is some experience shaped how we started feeling like I have to or need to be accepted, it can be an experience in high school, think about that time.

Often what happens is we label ourselves as failures or try to overcompensate. My next question is have you been diagnosed with depression, anxiety or any other mental health condition and by whom? A primary care doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist? Our mental health is vitally important, and just as important as our physical because they can impact the other. When you feel unproductive in what ways? Lack of motivation? Low energy? or inability to focus without distractions? When we do struggle to do basic things we tend to feel bad about ourself, and those around us can impact our mental health too as if they aren't suffering they don't get it. I have often had clients say, "I'm lazy, my family thinks I am lazy." Things like that really do put people in a place where they can't value themselves because we often start to believe these things. Having unrealistic expectations of ourself can cause feelings overwhelm and also anxiety.

I want you to consider thinking of perfectionism. Is this something you may feel is important? Also, remember perfectionism is usually the result of trying to live up to an internal ideal, but it can also be motivated by fear, such as worrying about how others perceive you. I remind clients often it is progress not perfection, we are never going to be perfect and at some point you can realize if you can get help to manage these feelings, to let go of other peoples' thoughts and expectations because it will only continue to weigh you down.

Processing what is going on within you, where it came from, and learning strategies to manage these thoughts can help you to create healthy habits, thinking patterns, and overall start to feel better, but it also takes time, dedication, and patience. You have to remind yourself, "if you don't take care of you who is going to?" You need to be willing to put in the work with some help to get to a place where you are actually living, and not just keeping your head above water. I really would like to see you get some help to manage this.