What To Do When Depression Turns to Anger?

Displacement and Projection

It is sometimes said that depression is anger turned inward. For many people, anger turned outward is less uncomfortable than when it is turned inward. Sometimes when experiencing anger, we may use the thinking error of displacement. This occurs when we take out our anger on someone or something else not to contribute to the anger. For example, a person may displace their anger by yelling at his spouse after having a bad day at work. Projection is another thinking error used with anger; with this, the person finds characteristics about themselves that are undesirable in other people. For example, someone may, because they are dishonest, expect that others are dishonest. The first step in addressing displacement and projection is recognizing that you are using them, which can often be difficult to do. There are no excuses, including feeling depressed for mistreating others.

Identifying Feelings

It can be helpful to identify what feelings are below the “depression” and “anger.” For example, are you feeling guilty, hurt, disrespected, disappointed, annoyed, forgotten, grieving, ashamed, scared, anxious, stressed, overwhelmed, etc. Knowing what feelings you are experiencing can help you address these. For instance, if you feel overwhelmed, maybe it is necessary to set some boundaries with work or social obligations. If you are grieving, maybe it is helpful to talk about how you feel with a support person. If you feel disrespected, maybe using assertive communication with the person who disrespects you can be helpful. Feelings always come from our thoughts, so if we can identify what we are thinking and feeling, we can challenge that thinking with more adaptive ways of thinking, reducing depression and anger.

Coping Skills and Self-Care

Once we identify if we are using any thinking errors and what feelings are behind the depression and anger, we can use strategies to improve our mood. For example, deep breathing and pleasant imagery can be helpful if we are feeling stressed or anxious. Counting backward and other distraction techniques can be helpful if we are dealing with intrusive thoughts or focusing on what is beyond our control. Grounding techniques, such as counting the number of blue items in a room, can also be helpful. Progressive muscle relaxation can help us fall asleep. Meditation can help us clear our minds. But coping skills can also include regular strategies to take care of oneself, such as participating in therapy, taking medication as prescribed, adhering to a structured schedule, eating healthy foods, getting enough sleep, participating in recreational activities, etc.