Ask a therapist > Depression > What to do when you have no energy, don’t want to do anything, and forget to take care of yourself?

What to do when you have no energy, don’t want to do anything, and forget to take care of yourself?

I’ve always struggled with energy, sleep, and motivation. I have a 7 month old to take care of and I struggle so much doing it. I don’t ever want to do anything nor have the energy for it. All I ever want to do is either just lay down on my phone or sleep. I feel like I never have enough sleep during the week, and I don’t even remember to brush my teeth, shower, etc. By the time I remember I just don’t want to get up. I’m tired of constantly feeling tired, overwhelmed by every day objectives, and not wanting to do anything. Please help.

Asked by elliotsmama

Depression

Happiness

Answered

04/01/2022

Hi I am sorry this is your experience right now. It can be a new and exhausting situation having a little one. If you have ruled out physical issues including low iron, thyroid, autoimmune issues etc then we do like to look at what has changed for you? Has this always been an issue or when do you think it started? Have there been other life issues happening for you or your family? We might want to look at your schedule and do you have support etc. All of these things we could discuss and problem solve together.

Sometimes when it feels so powerfully awful all it takes is making one small change every day. Soon we become aware that it doesn't feel as awful as it did yesterday so to speak. For instance deciding tonight what one thing you can try to do tomorrow. Say "I am going to try and get outside with the baby for 10 minutes". Then get to tomorrow and if nothing else gets done you do that one thing you said you would try to do. This is also the time to reach into support from friends or family if you can. Normalizing that "lately I am feeling down or unmotivated want to get together?" helps to have something else to look forward to and helps our motivation to go do and see some other new or different surrounding.

Another thing is some type of activity or exercise. We have lots of data that shows even small bursts of energy or activities helps the 'feel good' centers of the brain. When folks lose motivation or are exhausted finding healthy ways to increase our dopamine in the brain can help that/those feelings or awarenesses change. So jog in place, or sit-ups or dance or pace. Tell yourself 'if I go for a walk it will make me feel different' then go do the walk. We also recommend if the feelings are particularly low that washing your hands in cold water or splashing your face with cold water helps change brain messages and mood can lift or change.

I hope this is helpful. Please feel free to reach out. I would welcome working together to help change this current state of feelings for you.

Laura Placek

LPC