What would happen if I'mnot optimistic about my future,?

What will I do? If I see everything dar, I'm scared what will come to the point that I see death as a solution because I'm a burden to my parents and I only represent another expense.
Asked by tlcm98
Answered
11/29/2021

Dear TLCM98,

 

Your question made me pause for a second because it sounds like you are hopeless. Hopelessness is often a symptom of depression and even though things seem dire today, they could be awesome tomorrow. How do you snap out of that energy that is engulfing you and bringing you down? How do you know who you are? Where do you want to be? What your purpose is? What is most important to you?  What should you do?  Is there one or more projects that are close to your heart? One day, all people have to ask themselves these questions because they are essential.  The meaning, the colors, the shape, the depth, the intensity, which you give or will give to your life, depends on your responses.   Collected and even incomplete, our answers draw a direction, outline a path.  Your way.  If it is important to locate it in the forest of your desires, your dreams, or your doubts, to cut it in the thicket of your renouncements or your negligence, it is because this path is that of your mission in life. Several studies have shown a link between a meaningful life and good mental and physical health.  For example, people with a high level of meaning in life are more joyful, less anxious, less depressive, and less hostile than those with a lower level of meaning.  Do you know anyone who seems driven by a purpose greater than themselves? Are you spiritual/religious? Do you believe that there is more to this life? Have you tried answering these questions? Shaping one's life according to one's desire is undoubtedly the most shared quest today.  It is also the most legitimate.  Desire is your most personal thing, it is your signature and your driving force.  If you suffocate it is equal to  “under-living”, to living a life of the loan.  However, a life that has meaning and value in your eyes is one that is fueled by your desire, thus giving you the feeling of fully existing.  What makes you tick?  What activity, what relationship gives you the feeling of being more alive, “more” yourself? When was the last time that you knew where you wanted to be and what you wanted to do? If you had a magic wand and could change aspects of your life, where would you start? These are the questions that will help you bring out the desire from the matrix of your unconscious.  Míhaly Csíkszentmihályi forged the concept of flow.  This term describes the mental state of a person who is totally in full awareness, immersed in an activity the realization and accomplishment of which gives him intense satisfaction.  This activity can be artistic, spiritual, craft, educational, sports ... And if it is essential to spot it, it is because it reveals what gives meaning and pleasure to living one’s life.  To these two components, Tal Ben-Shahar added a third: personal strengths.  This is what he calls the SPA process: pleasure, meaning, assets.  For example, to find a job, people will undertake the process by asking themselves three essential questions: What makes sense to me?  What makes me happy?  What are my strengths?  Then people must take the time to question themselves in-depth, then observe the trends which emerge, then examine the results and identify the fields which overlap which will help define the type of work that will make them the happiest.  Thus, choices based on the triptych: meaning, pleasure, and assets - one could also say, skills or talents - give a guiding axis to one’s life, without which it would be a rough draft of existence.  Finding your life mission, or letting it reveal itself to you, requires both that you dive into yourself to identify your deep desire and that you are attentive and receptive to the signs and opportunities that the universe, chance, others, send you. The joy of living is key.  Once identified, its mission remains to be taken into action. This is important because you can let yourself be lulled by the illusion that things will happen on their own, that fate will act for you.  However, it is action, in the sense of commitment, that will shape life as close as possible to your deepest desires.  You will have to let go, detach yourself from your beliefs, and overcome your resistance, but also connect with those who share the same values ​​and who live their life mission on a daily basis.  It is the collective energy and its expertise that provide the keys and the strength to move forward.  Whether you decide to make a profession of your life mission or not, what matters is to have the feeling of being in harmony with yourself, and to express as much as possible,  personality and skills, in rewarding relationships and activities.  And even if one experiences difficulties or frustrations, this position nourishes what one can call the joy of life.  And that is contagious.  To grow and become happy, surround yourself with people who are successful, happy, and driven. Do an inventory of your life, purge what is not working for you, and try to work on some personal goals to improve your life (going back to school, exercising, keeping good sleep hygiene, eating healthy, reading, going on walks, etc…)I don’t know how old you are however it is never too late to change things and start living fully. Many people find their flow when they are older. Your life is a gift, start living today. Make a bucket list of things that you would like to accomplish and start checking items on that list. Rather than think about your future negatively, think of your present positively. I wish you well in finding what makes you happy and also in developing a map for your existence. I would also recommend that you read a few books that could help you change your perspective on life. I would start with The Four Agreements. It is a simple but powerful book that will help you move forward.