Why would I get depressed for a bit and then be in a better mood later on in the day?

Dear Kay,

I am glad that you are reaching out and wanting to ask about why your body would feel so sad and down one minute and then out of the blue, things change and you don't know why. 

When I sit with a client of mine that is going through something similar to what you describe, I will encourage them to get very intentional about focusing on their body, their mind and their emotions when emotions switch quickly.  So this can be a switch to the "positive" emotions or the "negative" emotions.  First of all, we label some emotions as negative and some as positive in our culture.  The reality is, we need all emotions in order to thrive in life.  We have to know when we are feeling certain things to then respond to them.  If we didn't have the "negative" emotions, we wouldn't know that we need to ask for, what we need or change circumstances to then care for our body mind and soul.  So our emotions are important, no matter what they are.  

Secondly, the homework that I like to give my clients to explore their own body mind and soul is this: I encourage you to get out a notebook or your phone or something to record your experience.  You can do this by writing or speaking.  Then I want you to notice and write / speak about what you are experiencing in your body.  Do a body scan from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.  Notice what sensations you feel in your body.  Write about or speak about each of the sensations that you notice.  Notice the uncomfortable sensations and the positive ones.  

Then spend time noticing and documenting the emotions you are experiencing at this time.  You will easily notice the "big" ones but also notice any other emotions that are mixed into your experience.  If you can label why you feel that way, take time to do that.  If you feel it but are not sure, then note that.  

Lastly, spend time noting what you are thinking.  Write about what you are thinking right now and also take time to notice what you were thinking about right before and during the shift of emotions.  Document all the thoughts you were having.  Even if you think they are not significant.  Write them down.  Be honest about all you were thinking.  

I want you to do that a few times when your mood changes quickly.  Do this when your mood shifts from a "positive" state to a "negative" and also when it shifts from "negative" to "positive."  Note what is happening for you in those shifts.  

After you have done that a few times, spend some quality time looking at what you notice.  

A few things that some of my clients have had as reasons that their moods shift so quickly and they are not able to figure it out quickly or easily is ...

• 1. Physical shifts - I have many clients that have mood shifts quickly after they consume caffeine or sugar. Then they have the shift from having that high in their system and then when the "come down" happens, their mood shifts to sad, down, depressed, low, slow. That can feel like it is all emotional, but it is also very connected to their physiological body too.  
• 2. Need for sleep - some clients have found that when their bodies move into a sad or down state, it is a cry for rest, for slowing down, for a nap.  And when they can give themselves that, their mood shifts easily and quickly. 
• 3. Unresolved anger/emotions towards someone or self - things that are stewing inside of us can come up and shift us even if we only briefly sit with those thoughts or feelings.  This can be seen when we think about things and then our bodies respond to that. 
• 4. Unmet needs - some folks have shifts in their moods because they have unmet emotions, relational need.  Some folks have explored how they feel sadness, down, depressed, slow when they haven't had meaningful connections with other people but they didn't know that until they really sat with their longings in those sad times.  It could also be an unmet need of movement in the body, a need to cry or scream or express an emotion.  
• 5. Their "bucket" is full.  Let me explain this one ... I have found that we all have an "emotional bucket" inside of us.  Throughout the day, our bucket gets filled up little by little with life things.  Sometimes it fills up faster if heavier or hard things are happening.  That bucket needs to be tended to by expressing what we are feeling and thinking and being heard and validated in those emotions.  If we are not doing that on a regular basis and our bucket fills up and starts to overflow, we will have our emotions come out "sideways."  We ALLLL have a way that our emotions come out sideways when our bucket gets full.  It sounds like your way of expressing the overflow of emotions from life might be depression.  If this is the case, it is helpful to then express all the thoughts, feelings, needs, experiences that you are going through.  This might be done through crying, screaming, talking openly to a friend, to a higher power, to yourself, journaling, exercise, creative expression, etc.  Seek to tap into what you are experiencing in your body, mind, and soul, and do what you need to do to express those emotions.  

The last thing I want to throw at you is that you are normal.  You are a human with emotions.  All of us have emotions that don't always make sense.  Our intellect is separate from our emotions.  And that is good because they serve very different purposes AND it means that our emotions will sometimes not be logical - because they are different!  I also know in my own life that when I don't understand my emotions, it feels like a sweet invitation from my body mind and soul to slow down, listen in, be kind and seek to understand.  Be as understanding and open as you would to a friend or child who is having emotions!  

I hope that you have had some guidance through what I shared with you today.  Of course, if you are seeing some truth and would like some support through counseling, I would love to sit with you and help you learn to deal with these down, sad times and switches that happen inside of your body mind and soul.

Best wishes,

Paula Peterson, LPC