Am I a narcissist? Am I a sociopath?

It will be difficult to go through the entire situation. The bottom line is my partner claims I'm a narcissistic sociopath. I've researched both, and I don't believe I have a lot of those traits. In fact,, most of those traits she exhibits. At most, I don't have a lot of empathy for others, and I tend to tune out when she is complaining because she complains a lot; rarely has positive things to say. I understand that is not healthy or productive in a relationship.
Even saying those last items, am I changing blame? Am I so sociopathic and/or narcissistic and not realize it?
The entire story of ups and downs and details that are important to get a full understanding is a novel in itself, and would be only my side of the story. How do I pursue help in this?
Asked by Jay
Answered
12/05/2021

It sounds to me like classic projection. Perhaps she feels like these traits are ones that she sees in you because she has a familiarity with them because she carries these traits if that makes sense. Oftentimes people tend to project onto others what they see in themselves whether it's something they like or dislike. Calling somebody a narcissist is really dangerous because there's a lot of criteria that go into meeting that label… Often times what people mean to say is that you have narcissistic tendencies… But so can a person that's very confident. More than having treats, one needs to ask themselves if the behaviors that they exhibit as a result of those traits are harmful. Sometimes being confident can be seen as narcissistic… Sometimes people around you that feel less, project what they are ashamed of not having. So there's a lot that goes into these things… The fact that you are seeking out a question to answer, tells me that you were likely not a narcissist. A true narcissist would make the effort to investigate this further. Some thoughts I have on this, are, what is the state of the relationship; What prompted these conversations, and what do you guys want to do with that? It sounds to me though that there's an unhealthy dynamic at play and perhaps that is why she is sharing some of these views with you. Again, a narcissist or sociopath wouldn't be very concerned with what somebody else thought about them… Much less find help for it. It could be that confidence or an approach you have towards the relationship that bothers her. Additionally, people don't always know what they are saying when they say it… I'm wondering if she took the time to research what a narcissist or sociopath was before she said that to you? People often derive these definitions from movies or TV… And use them incorrectly. I would be happy to help further if you have any more questions so just let me know. But for now, definitely try to get to the root of why these conversations are being had in the first place.