How can bullying affect the brain?

We are a species that, overall, relies heavily on the input from others to determine who we are.  This is particularly true in adolescence, where the main task is to discover your unique identity in the world.  During this time, the brain is very impressionable as it is forming new connections and building core beliefs about the self, others, and the world.  Bullying in the course of this task can have severe detrimental effects both short-term and long-term.

Bullying shows up with teasing, humiliation, property damage, physical violence, character assassination, and shaming.  As an adolescent, being a victim to this type of treatment can shape how someone sees themselves as well as how they see others.  Because the brain is naturally geared toward recognizing negative elements of our world (originally a protective mechanism to keep us alert to danger), it may hyperfocus on the messages sent via bullying.  Once these messages are sent enough, the victim may start to believe and internalize them.  The brain then begins to solidify these messages into core beliefs—strong beliefs about the self—which can follow a person throughout their entire life.

We know from the research how damaging these experiences can be for people.  Bullying is connected to low self-esteem, lack of confidence, shame, anxiety, social anxiety, depression, avoidance of close relationships, loneliness, alcohol and other drug use, self-harm, poor academic performance, and suicidal ideation.  If you have been experiencing any suicidal thoughts, reach out for help immediately. You can reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

When the victim believes they are worthless, unwanted, weak, etc., they engage in behavior that reflects those beliefs.  Furthermore, the brain will look for “evidence” that supports these beliefs and dismiss actual evidence that these assumptions are untrue (ultimately growing these harmful beliefs).

To battle the effects of bullying, it can take repetitive, hard work.  Self-love and self-compassion are necessities here, as the bullying now takes place within the inner dialogues of the victim.  It is also important to repeatedly examine the evidence for and against these core beliefs—what evidence do you have for these beliefs?  What evidence tells you that you are actually worthy?  What evidence is there that you are wanted?  Finding those pieces that are often overlooked can help to grow other helpful, yet dormant, beliefs about the self that were buried during experiences of bullying.  Therapy can be a great place to start this process and a place where you are unconditionally accepted (which in itself can start the healing process).

Whatever path is taken, you can always choose to fight vs surrender to the impacts of bullying!