I know I have bpd. I know some of my triggers. Whats the next step?

I'm afraid of being alone so I've began shutting myself in, not allowing anyone inside. My dad left me before I was born, my mo left for drugs, my aunt hates me but loves acting like she's the best thing too happen to me, my brother was killed on my 12th birthday, my grandma who was the closest thing to a mom just died, and then my son was born 3 days later 2 weeks early. Now I am at a point I just wanna stay in my room and just hide from everyone. I also live at my boyfriends grandmas house. I hate it.
Asked by Jada

Hi Jada,

Thank you for sharing your history, you have been through so much at such a young age. Borderline Personality Disorder and trauma go hand and hand. Moreover, now that you know you have this diagnosis, it is about researching the best strategies to help you with working with the symptoms of having Borderline Personality Disorder. I am going to break some things down to help you understand, and help you think about the next steps. Please allow me to help distinguish what is part of you and what is Borderline Personality Disorder. 


Borderline Personality Disorder is characterized by individuals that have had a lot of trauma in their life are terrified of being hurt again. They begin to struggle with desperately not wanting to be alone-to an unhealthy amount, and not being able to let people into their inner world/vulnerability. This is often described by a push-pull relationship (e.g. get away from me, but please don't leave me). This struggle sometimes has self-harming behaviors, such as, abusing alcohol and drugs when upset, attempting suicide, or cutting behaviors. It is the feeling overwhelmed by intense emotions that leads to these behaviors.




These people often end up with a Bipolar Diagnosis and seemingly helpful professionals trying to promote medications. While this can be helpful, it often is not always helpful for those with Borderline Personality Disorder. The best strategy is a treatment modality called Dialectic Behavioral Therapy (DBT). Dialectic Behavioral Therapy was created by someone who struggled with Borderline Personality Disorder and the concept focuses on teaching people skills to deal with the intense emotions that become overwhelming. It encompasses group skills training classes, and also, having a therapist who you meet with that can help talk about issues and reinforce how to use these skills in your day-to-day life. I know people who describe it as having been life-changing. 

Here's more info about it: 



This type of approach is best practiced in person. However, I know that we are in a pandemic and in-person isn't always available. If you choose to work with a therapist on Betterhelp ask for a therapist that works with Borderline Personality Disorder using Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. If you want to look for an in-person-setting googling Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and your area should bring up the nearest agency. Or you can find people on the link below. 



Sincerely, I hope this was helpful, and I wish you the best.


(LPC, C5597, MA.)