Should I get counselling or at least a diagnosis? Should I consider taking medication? How bad does it have to get until I have to get help? Can I just ignore it? Try to fix it on my own?

Hello, I am a 19 year old University student. Since I was 14 I've been to three different psychologists on and off (and none of them helped); the last one advised me to go to a psychiatric. But I don't know if that's the best idea because once I have a diagnosis it's permanent. I'm afraid that if I get diagnosed with something (and possibly start taking medication) , it will stop my life, my studying, my goals, while now I can just push it aside and act like there's nothing wrong.
I did my research based on how I feel, how I act, and I'm scared I might have Bpd and/or some kind of learning disorder. But then other days I feel like I'm making it all up in my mind and I'm actually fine but not trying hard enough.
Anyway I'm a lesbian, raised in a Catholic family, so as you can guess I don't have the financial and/or emotional support of my family for this kind of things.
Asked by Emill

Hi thanks for reaching out, on your journey to discover what may be going on with you internally it is important to receive the proper treatment and support that you need in order to cope, heal and move on with your life. A diagnosis is not the end of the world and your life will not stop. If you go on and act like there is nothing wrong the symptoms will not go away permanently and there will be periods of exacerbation that will impact your studies and your goals. Based on your own research you determined that you may or may not have symptoms consistent with Borderline Personality Disorder so with that I'm sure you reviewed the most beneficial evidenced based treatment and that how prolonged treatment and/or medication will cause irreparable damage/progress if not addressed before it gets out of control. When you look at having a chemical imbalance in your brain as such early detection just like in medical terms a proper diagnosis makes a huge difference in your recovery rate and survival in having a healthy and fulfilled life despite having a mental health diagnosis. Try to look at this way, if you go on through life and act as if nothing is impacting you, you know that the symptoms will remain and get worse, or plan B you get the help that you need and learn to accept the reality of what you are experiencing and continue on with your life. In my experience the best way to overcome this challenge is to challenge yourself to make choices that will change your life. With not having much support this journey can become more difficult however there are many programs and support groups that will and can help you along the way and you can beat this, it is not the end of you, it is part of you but does not define who you are. Seeing a Psychiatrist or a Licensed Therapist can definitely help to see which direction you should go in and your recovery can begin sooner than later. Please remember today is the first day of your life to make that change.... do not let your fears, doubts or your past depict how you approach this. YOU CAN BEAT THIS but not alone, help is here for you and ignoring it will not make it go away.