Why behavior change is difficult to sustain?

The adage, “You can’t teach old dogs new tricks,” feels to be true sometimes. Trying to change our behavior is a constant struggle. For a few days, weeks, or even months, we feel like we have successfully made the change, but then we resume our old patterns out of nowhere. Usually, when trying to change our behavior, we are trying to improve ourselves one way or another. However, it can be challenging to improve ourselves because we have many obstacles fighting against our effort. We have to fight against instant gratification and going against the grain. 

INSTANT GRATIFICATION

Most of us are under the delusional belief that whatever we are trying to change happened to us out of nowhere and overnight. We can’t believe how much weight we gained and where it came from; it feels like we just started taking the drugs yesterday, but we are already addicted; we have been studying for weeks even though today is the only day we sat down with the textbook. The belief that the bad behavior just happened gives the expectation that the new behavior should just happen. We expect dieting and exercising to start showing results after a week or two. Staying clean and sober for one month should stop all the cravings, urges, and everyone should forgive and forget. If we skim the textbook for a few days and study for one day, then we should ace the test. When these expectations are not met, we lose hope; we believe that making this change does not really work, and we give up. Real change takes time, and the expectation should be that it will take twice as long as it took to pick up the old behavior. 

GOING AGAINST THE GRAIN

Humans are creatures of habit, so the behavior we are trying to change is probably our habit. To make this change, we ask our mind, body, and soul to do the opposite of what it has been used to doing for years. This is like asking a train going full steam ahead to start going in reverse immediately. The abrupt stop would throw all the passengers around the train cars and knock them around more after the reversal. The same happens to us when we try to stop doing what we have always done. Our mind, body, and soul are thrown around, and it can all feel too overwhelming, so we give up. 

BABY STEPS

Change is recommended in baby steps. Change the most negligible behavior first and allow the mind, body, and soul to adjust to the transition. Then change the subsequent smallest behavior and so on. For example, when trying to lose weight, start adding more water to your diet and get used to that. Then try adding more fruits and vegetables, and then later add exercise. Smaller behavior changes are easier to sustain.