Why bullying happens?

            Bullying can be really difficult to understand, especially when you are the one being bullied. Also, when you are not toxic yourself, it can be really difficult to understand the toxic behaviors of someone else.  Typically, a bully bullies because of an issue in their own life.  Sometimes they will want to avoid the issues in their life by distracting themselves through bullying others.  Other times bullies might be tired of experiencing certain pains in their life so putting that pain onto others feels like releasing their pain. 

            While issues occur in their own lives, a bully will typically target someone they find different from themselves.  Maybe they do not like how the other person looks, what they believe, or how they act, but bullies will find a difference in others to target.  Finding a difference to target sometimes becomes a justification for the bully.  They can feel entitled to bully because of the difference in someone else that they find problematic.  Sometimes, a bully is even jealous of the difference they are targeting in someone else.  For example, a bully might be jealous of someone they feel looks more attractive than them, to find a difference about that person to bully to make them feel worse.  Often, bullies will think this puts that person on an equal level to them, which they think will help them feel better. 

            A lot of times, a bully is mimicking behaviors they have seen from someone else.  Usually, this person is someone the bully looks up to and/or idolizes.  They will then mimic the behaviors of the person they look up to in hopes of being like them and/or getting closer to them.  For example, if a child grows up seeing their father bully people of a certain belief, they will be more likely to bully the same group of people if they grew up looking up to their father.  This fact is why confronting a bully before it continues too long is so important.  A bully can easily become a habitual bully, which could cause so much pain for them and others.