Can attachment style change in adulthood?

Hi, thank you for reaching out to us at BetterHelp with your question. My name is Stacey Shine, and I am a Licensed Professional Counselor and am hopeful that I can help provide an answer to your question.

First, attachment styles are something that develops at a very young age. These are starting to form when you are basically in the womb as your parents are preparing for how they will parent and interact with you.  Typically, your parent's mother and father or caregiver can be greatly impacted by attachment styles to be somewhat of a generational cycle. As you develop and grow, your attachment can change with maturity and experiences. So, the question of can your attachment styles changes in adulthood...I believe this is a yes. For example, if you are married to someone who grew up with a completely different attachment style, they may provide you with the experience of something you were never exposed to growing up. If you had an attachment style that was not secure and your partner provides that security, it can mold into you having that secure attachment style as an adult. It can also impact your parenting and the type of attachment that you have with your child.  It is not uncommon for parents to either have the same attachment style as their parents or because of their feelings towards that, they go the polar opposite of it and try to develop new attachments. There is also the concept of reparenting self which is often used when someone does not have a secure attachment style in their upbringing. This concept is gaining popularity because there are so many people that lack secure attachment growing up. This concept is essentially parenting yourself or giving yourself the love and attachment that you may have desired or did not experience as a child. This also confirms that attachment styles can change as you grow and evolve.

I hope this answer was helpful for you. If you feel like you need to dive deeper into attachment styles and what looks like in your past and go forward, do not hesitate to reach out to us, and we can match you with a counselor. Best of luck on your journey!