Can marriage survive an illegitimate child?

Asked by Anonymous
Answered
04/28/2021

Content/Trigger Warning: Please be advised that the article below might mention trauma-related topics that include types of sexual violence that could be triggering.

Marriage can survive just about anything if there is enough patience, communication, openness to growing, maturing, and forgiveness. When a child is born illegitimate, this means that the child was born out of wedlock, and both parents were not married to each other. In the modern age of fertility, by law, a child is also considered illegitimate until the parent who is not biologically theirs adopts the child. But what this question communicates most likely is a child conceived outside of an already existing marriage, as in someone who committed infidelity and became pregnant from their affair. It can also be sexually assaulted, and the victim became pregnant from the assault who chooses to keep the baby. After working with several couples, the child many times isn’t the issue, but mistrust is, so once the mistrust can be healed, the child many times is welcomed. In the case of assault, it has been a blessing out of trauma, but many times, people choose to terminate that unwanted pregnancy.

When it’s not survivable

Many people believe that unless the child is their child biologically, they really can’t take responsibility for that child financially or in any area for that matter. People will say they do not want children who are adopted, nor do they want children through fertility whereby the child is not theirs biologically. So, in an illegitimate child, many people’s marriages cannot survive because one or both people involved cannot handle it emotionally. Each case is really specific and unique, and it’s really hard to answer the question without knowing everyone involved.

Family systems are made up in different ways, and that’s becoming more the norm; if people keep their minds open and do what is best for them, then the best choice is made for everybody involved. In terms of forgiveness and empathy, these two practices offer a lot of room for growth and maturity in encompassing illegitimate children into families as simply their children.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

How do I deal with my husband's illegitimate child?
What do you do when your husband has a child with another woman?
What are the rights of the father of an illegitimate child?
Does illegitimate child has the right for their father's inheritance?
Can a marriage survive an illegitimate child?
How do I accept my husband's child?
What are the disadvantages of illegitimate child?
Can a married man have a child with another woman?
What effects do cheating fathers have on their sons?
What is the protection of illegitimate child?

(M.Ed., MA, LPC)