How do I deal with the fallout with my only sibling?

Hello Chez, thanks for reaching out.

This question has a few components not easily addressed without the context behind where this all starts etc but first of all I would ask you a direct question in that....................what would you like to do here? in this situation.

Reason I ask is because I believe the client is the expert on their life so with that said, if we can learn to listen to our gut feeling on something, to explore what it is we want to do or what we do not want to do, then this will go a long way to informing us of how we might approach a situation like this.

I offer you that we can only control how we interact with a situation ourselves, simply put the other person involved in a situation and how they react or engage with a situation is completely up to them. We can choose to engage in a certain way or another way but the results of that we cannot have an impact on. I refer here to your mention of reaching out and peace offerings etc, it may be that they will not except them and will not reach out in the way that you might like and you might have to prepare yourself for that possible outcome. If they choose to except your peace offerings and pick up the phone when you call etc then they do and a dialogue can start from there.

It's important to remember here that there are the two of you in this relationship. As at the end of the day this it what it is, a relationship. Relationships are hard work as they take 2 people to maintain. 2 people to meet each other in the middle to keep the relationship going, whether that be family, friends or romantic relationship. Therefore if only one of you is putting in all the work and the other party is not willing to meet you in the middle, all you can do here is choose how you engage with that.

Do you choose to continue to reach out, do you continue to reach out but only for a set time, do you stop reaching out and any other option you can think of, but essentially there may be some decisions for you around this.

I'm aware there are other factors here in terms of your Dad etc i'd be happy to explore this more with you in the therapy space, but essentially you're likely looking at what your options might be around that and can you think of any alternative options etc.

As for the last part of her feeling guilt around mother's death, that may play into how she treats you now in that she may be treating you badly due to projecting her anger over this guilt onto you, but we cannot know this without asking etc. I would say here that although you are worried about her, it is her responsibility to engage with help in this area herself, you can't make her seek help etc.

This brings us fulls circle back to we choose how we engage with situations ourselves and how we might do this etc.

You are more than welcome to explore this further in the therapy space as i realize this is a bigger question than this space allows for an answer. I gently challenge you here to ask what do you want out of this situation and is this want or need the reason behind why you might continue to engage with this situation despite its potential detriment to yourself?

I offer you that focusing on "your" wants and needs here may offer direction in this situation.

Hope this helps,

thanks,

Kai