How do I feel loved?

It may be necessary to start working with you on your self-esteem. There are several essential questions: 1. Why does the need to seek therapy arise after three years of a relationship arise? 2. Why seek help from BH individually? 3. Why BH and whether or not the partner wants to counsel or thinks it is just their problem? 4. Was there a time in the past three years when you did not feel sad or "no good enough"?

All these questions lead to whether the current conflict has roots in the early past if they are the product of a system, if the couple is dysfunctional, or if these are changes that happened in recent months or weeks. In the latter case, it would be convenient to explore environmental factors such as the last pandemic (3 years ago), the financial situation of the couple, or some changes in the dynamics of the original families.

The past pandemic has often left much damage beyond the deaths and physical sequelae. Coexistence with the absence of freedom of movement generates a very particular dynamic. On the other hand, it may be that the couple is still in a state of "power struggle." Furthermore, in the face of difficult economic times, adjustment behaviors that tend towards individuality and selfishness emerge. The influences of the original families on the couple cannot be forgotten. False detachments and poorly resolved loyalties are often causes of partner dysfunction. However, the most important answers are why NOW, why HERE.

The answers to these final questions place us in the present, which is what can be modified, changed, or resolved. Therapy is nothing more than generating changes to improve the physical, psychological, and social life of people. I always put my clients in the metaphor of driving a car. We do not drive looking in the rearview mirror - you could have an accident. We look forward and ensure we do not bump into those who come before us. Now and then, you can look into the rearview mirror to know whom we leave behind. Nevertheless, that is just to know that no reckless drivers are threatening us. Looking forward and following the signs (today, the GPS), we can get to the place we want as long as we respect the right of way of others and the laws of (life) traffic.