Ask a therapist > Family > How do I know if my lack of opening up is because I am emotionally healthy or unhealthy.

How do I know if my lack of opening up is because I am emotionally healthy or unhealthy.

I feel good 99% of the time. However, when I do want to feel my negative feelings, I'd rather be alone than talk to those who are close to me. I trust my family & friends but I feel like my emotional baggage is a burden to others so I’d rather deal with it myself. I’m not afraid that they would judge me but rather try to give me advice & their lack of education & life choices makes me unreceptive to it. More specifically my parents. It’s sounds bigoted of me but I’m not sure how else to explain it.
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Asked by Dorit
Family
Answered
12/18/2022

Hello and thank you so much for reaching out here at BetterHelp.  It takes a bit of courage to ask for help, especially around the subject of emotions.  BetterHelp's online counseling platform makes it a bit easier to connect with a counselor and get support where and when you need it.  Having a supportive counseling session in your own space can facilitate the opening up experience, helping you feel comfortable and able to address some of your negative thoughts and feelings.

Your question is a good one, how can you allow yourself to experience any sad or negative feelings, and still feel supported by the ones that love you.  Honestly, you are not unique in being more comfortable being alone if you are sad or down.  It is not easy or comfortable to cry in front of other people.  So I do not think it is a bad thing to want to be alone to experience some negative feelings.

The second part of your question, about not feeling that your family, especially your parents, can give you good advice, sounds like a bigger issue. If we were in session I would want to ask you a bit more, have you describe some situations when you did not like the advice they gave you.  And maybe explore some of the background issues regarding your parents and their lives.

Perhaps the counseling will address how you interact with your family, how much do you communicate about yourself and your issues.  Also how well do you all communicate when you are together.  Hopefully there can be a middle ground that you and your family can reach, where they can better understand what is on your mind and how to best support you.

It is always possible that this may take time, or some issues may not be easily fixed.  Then in session I would support you in locating other supportive people in your life that you can talk to when needed.  It may be some one in your friend group!  Also here on BetterHelp we offer many helpful tools including journal prompts, group sessions or online seminars that can add a lot to your overall counseling experience.

I hope you will continue here with BetterHelp to explore your emotions and learn positive and healthy ways to cope with any negative feelings that come up in your life.

All the best and Happy Holidays, Caryn

(LCSW)