How do I start healing from within and accept the reality in front of me?

Hello. Sorry to hear about your loss and I empathize with your situation. It is hard to heal from the loss of someone important to you, especially a loved one. But I do believe the road to healing begins with finding someone to listen while discussing the issue or problem at hand and being heard.

You have taken the first step to healing by reaching out for counseling and support. From your message, I understand that you want to set a good example for your little one. I do not want to make any assumptions so I would like to know more about why you feel that you are not providing proper guidance or taking the wrong steps in parenting.

From your message, it sounds as if you don't have a close relationship with your father. Was the relationship with your father always strained or did this happen after the lost of the most important woman in your life? While you were growing up, were you able to build a relationship with any of your father's wives?

It reads as if you have someone in your life now that is providing some guidance per the first line of your message.  Has this relationship been a support to you or has it been more of a catalyst for you to seek change.

I want you to realize that every parent has a different style or method to parenting. It is important to know that the biggest "key" to parent is to make sure your child is feeling loved and is loved. Upon this foundation, one is capable of building different techniques to make sure their child is happy and well adjusted. I believe from your message you are on this path because you are seeking guidance and acknowledging in your life that you have experienced some type of trauma. We can discuss the process of grief; letting go; building a support system, and moving forward  more in depth during a counseling sessions.

But I want to encourage you that you are making correct choice in seeking counseling and on the correct path to healing.