What to do for better relationships with family

Good afternoon there Aj, my name is Jo and I am an integral therapist here at BetterHelp. Thank you so much for reaching out with your question which I have read carefully.

I think I would first explore the initial title of your question around what to do for a better relationship with your family. I will answer as clearly as I can without knowing the specifics of the relationship problems you have been having with your family.

I would ask if it is your entire family that there is an issue with Aj? Or are there any members who are a little more sensitive to your situation that you could share some of these issues with?

I would also want to know if your family are fully aware about how you are feeling at this point. It feels from your question that you have experienced this situation for a while now. I am sure it must be both frustrating and painful to not feel heard or supported by your family.

You state that you feel "scolded for past mistakes" and I wonder how this has affected your life going forward? I think that all of us have made plenty of mistakes that we are not always happy about but I think that when we acknowledge them we should be allowed to move on from these. I wonder if your family are aware that you have processed these mistakes and hopefully learnt from them? Are they waiting for an apology at all? I think that sometimes we have to ask for some sort of clarity about why a person continually brings up our behaviours and how can we help them to know we want to move on from it.

I can also read that you feel that moving away to another country could possibly be an answer. I think that trying new environments and adventures is always a good idea if we are going for the right reasons. I would suggest that just leaving your family and the problems behind could be an answer in the short term but however in the long term the problems are still there waiting to be addressed.

I wonder if you could feel like explaining to your family how this is all affecting you? It could be possible that they are unaware of exactly how you feel and that they need to know.

I hope my answer has gone a small way into answering your question. I do hope you feel able to engage with BetterHelp to further explore this question you have asked.

Take care 

Jo