How friendship works

Asked by Anonymous
Answered
04/30/2021

Healthy friendships can only work if two people, or more, are willing to communicate and spend quality time with each other. The most important part of any healthy friendship or relationship is the ability to talk and listen to one another. Talking and listening helps people share their common interests, share their feelings, learn to listen, and know they are important in someone else’s life.

For any healthy friendship to work, there also needs to be mutual trust and respect. This includes each individual respecting the other for who they are. It also means disagreeing while knowing they can talk about how they feel and work things out. People also should respect and trust themselves and their feelings so they can set boundaries and feel comfortable.

We aren’t designed to go through life alone but to be connected in healthy relationships. The hard work of friendship includes being available, even when it’s inconvenient. It means moving beyond the surface to real conversations and being willing to work at forgiveness and restoration when conflict inevitably arises.

Other factors that determine if a friendship or relationship will work include the following:

  • The person feels good about themselves when they are with their friend
  • Both parties can compromise - each person has to give up part of what he wants so she together can avoid conflict, accomplish things, and both feel satisfied
  • Both feel safe around each other
  • Both want to spend time together
  • Both have common interests and values

If you and your friend have trust, equality, compassion, honesty, and independence, you already have the foundation of a strong and healthy friendship to work. Even though it can be hard to recognize when a friendship is weak in some areas, it is always possible to improve yourself and your relationship with a friend. It’s worthwhile to strengthen the friendships in your life. There’s no relationship without bumps. However, learning how to be a good friend and understanding if it’s reciprocated will ensure a healthy and strong friendship.

(LMHC, CSAYC)