What to do when childhood friendships end?

Asked by Anonymous
Answered
05/03/2021

            Childhood friendships are such a unique, fun part of life.  In the childhood stage of life, we have so much more time to spend time with friends, and the things that make us happy are so much simpler than what makes us happy in adulthood.    We even spend most of our awake hours around our childhood friends for several years during the school-age years of life.  It can be difficult, though, to leave some friendships behind and to move forward.

            An important step after a friendship ends is to make sure you have some constructive takeaways.  Focusing on why the friendship ended and then making sure you learn from the friendship will be important to feel like you are moving forward in a new way. Some people struggle to accept that the friendship has ended but focusing on what you have learned can help you accept that it needs to be left behind.  A friendship ending is somewhat of a grieving process, and when you are going through grief, the goal is to accept what you have lost. 

            As you try to move forward, it can be helpful to get to a place of forgiveness rather than holding on to anger.  Some friendships end because of hurtful mistakes, but if you can get to a place of forgiveness, you can heal so much faster.  As you try to get to a place of forgiveness, think about how life change stages can help.  When we are children, we might have certain things in common that we grow out of.  In that way, it does not have to be anything personal but rather just a recognition that life stages have changed between you and your friend. 

            Friendships ending is never fun but trying to make the ending constructive can be a more peaceful approach that helps you move towards new friendships.  Try to accept the happy memories that you made with that friend.  You can even consider what qualities you liked and did not like about the friend so that you can use that information for future connections you make with friends. 

 

(MA, LPC, NCC)