Why friendship breakups hurt?

Friendships can be such a beautiful companionship to take part in.  However, when friendships break up, it can be extremely hurtful.  One reason friendship breakups can be so hurtful is that sometimes they happen out of nowhere.  When someone is blindsided by their friendship, ending that can be hurtful and leads to a confusing lack of closure.  A lack of closure can be so confusing to go through and leave someone with unanswered questions.  These unanswered questions can ruminate over time if they continue not to have closure, leading to further hurt and pain.  When we experience a breakup in a friendship, it is important to allow ourselves to go through the grieving process.  However, if there is a lack of closure, it cannot be easy to get to a place of acceptance.  On that same note, it can be difficult to stop thinking of the friendship, keeping someone in the thick of their grief. 

As with the typical grieving process, friendship breakups can feel somewhat hopeless at times.  The weight of the emotions can lead someone to feel somewhat hopeless and like they will never heal from the breakup.  It can also feel like other people do not truly understand what you are going through as you go through.  All of this combined can add to how heavy and difficult coping with a friendship breakup can be. 

Our friendships typically involve a lot of time, energy, and emotion to explain why they are so important to us.  Therefore, when a friendship ends, it can be crushing in the sense that all of that time, energy, and emotion you put into the friendship are over.  Some people might even feel regret for how much they put into the friendship and feel like all of that was wasted.  That can be really hurtful and hard to accept, but if you can get to a place of acceptance, you can hopefully think fondly about the good memories that you did have with your friend.  On top of that, it can feel even more healing if you can take away valuable lessons from the friendship so you do not feel like you will repeat the same type of friendship.