are grief and mourning the same?

When breaking down the exact definitions of grief and mourning, this is what we find:

Miriam Webster defines mourning as the “act of sorrowing,” “and “outward sign of one’s grief.” It defines grief as being a “deep and poignant distress caused by or as if caused by bereavement (loss).” These very basic definitions of these words provide a simple answer to how they are different; mourning is a verb or an action, and grief is a noun or a feeling.

Mourning is the act(s) that one goes through in processing grief, while grief is what a person will experience/feel while engaging in this process.  Even though these two concepts are different, they have a connection to one another.  Mourning can be various practices that facilitate healing or coping with grief. Typically, one cannot exist without the other when discussing both of these topics through the lens of grief counseling.

There can be different ways to practice mourning based on a person’s culture, religion, or spiritual preferences.  Many different cultures and religions facilitate traditions where community members can find solace in their grief while engaging in very specific mourning practices.  However, not everybody has traditions regarding proceeding with the mourning process and, thus, coping with grief. Furthermore, sometimes, people do not have these community-based connections or solidarity that can make the mourning process more seamless and griefless intense.

The process of guiding someone safely along their journey to discovering what their personal relationship with grief will look like is unique to everyone.  Therefore, the options for developing practices, methods, and traditions for individual mourning are/can be as numerous as there are people in this world.  The important thing is that someone should always feel safe and validated for their choices in mourning.  Outside of a therapy setting, one of the ways that we can help one another when someone is experiencing a personal loss is to be supportive and validate their mourning process. By feeling safe enough to do this, we can help those in our personal lives move in a positive direction towards better understanding and coping with their grief.