Can grief make you sick?

We commonly associate grief with emotions like sadness, fear, or guilt. Grief can also be a very physical process, which can result in physical illness. The pain of loss, whether the loss of a job or a loved one, causes the stress response cycle or fight or flight system in the body to kick on. This results in a flood of hormones released by the brain and body to prepare us to fend off the threat that we have detected.

The difficulty is that the threat that a significant loss poses isn’t one we can fight off, run from, or faint to avoid. Grief is ongoing, a continual process that lasts different lengths of time for different people. While the five stages model of grief is popular and well-known, grief isn’t a linear process, nor are the five stages experienced by everyone who grieves.

The ongoing process of grief is often described as coming in waves. A normal day that seems to be going fine may later be disrupted by a memory triggered by an unforeseen event, which results in a fresh wave of sadness – and a fresh restart of the fight or flight response. The stress response cycle can cause its own set of physical symptoms:

• Headache
• Stomach upset
• Rapid heart rate
• Increased blood pressure
• Disturbed sleep
• Changes in appetite

Ongoing activation of the fight or flight stress response cycle, as may occur with grief, can also impair the immune system’s ability to respond to threats like the common cold or virus. This means that for some people, susceptibility to sickness during the grieving process may occur. Grief is unique to each person and each situation, so is patient with yourself during grieving.

If you experience physical symptoms or become overwhelmed to the point of being unable to complete daily responsibilities, talk with your medical provider about what you’re experiencing. Grief can become complicated by depression and may require intervention. Speaking with a therapist who works with grief can also be helpful to processing grief, learning supportive coping skills, and having a safe place to explore and express what you’re experiencing fully.

If you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, visit your nearest emergency room or contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-272-8255.